What Did I Say When You Asked That About Carrots?

Girl on cell: Are avocados vegetarian?

Saskatoon
Saskatchewan
Canadia

Thank Goodness I Got the Rollover Slut Plan

College girl on cell: So, it's all good? Cause I'm just re-using the same guys over and over! My number doesn't go up!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/396687245/only-one-of-us-is-fooled.html

Overheard by: just eating my pizza

So Maybe She Needed Out-of-This-World Sex

Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She hasn’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five seconds out of your day to see how I’m doing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.

Barnes & Noble
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Hobo

And I'm Finished with the Scavenger Hunt

Guy on cell: Now I just need to get jumped.

Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: not the best place to shout that out

911 Isn't As Effective in Canadia

Guy on cell: You know you're the only person who calls this number. You have to stop!

St. Catharines
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Meg

And a Tranquilizer Rifle

Guy on cell: Don't expect it to be as great as the last time we were in Malibu, though. Unless you bring your funny hat.

The Coffee Bean
Los Angeles, California

When It's Time to Move to New York, I'll Be Ready, Baby!

Girl on cell: Well, I took your advice and I didn't smile at anyone today. I even scowled at a few!

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

I Blame Our Science Teacher for Your Potassium Fetish

Wannabe scene chick on phone: I drew another picture for you. There's a banana involved again. (pause) You and your bananas!

Chesapeake, Virginia

Though I’d Always Pictured You As More of a Titmouse

Suit on cell: Wait, while I’ve got you on the phone, what’s your animal spirit name? … Ah, ‘White Wolf’ — of course. All right, see you then.

Coffee shop
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Baffled Bear

Straight Love Is So 20th Century

Guy on cell: Oh, for fuck’s sake! Is it a lesbian wedding? … Is it a lesbian wedding? Then fuck it!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Mephisto