Guy on cell at register: I know! I know! So listen — when you first meet him, go up to him, bow, whip your own chopsticks, and tell him you would like to procreate with him.
Dick’s Sporting Goods
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: Cashier who needed the laugh
Woman on cell: I saw the most adorable little cheetah, so I bought it for her. You know, I am the one who assigns personalities to all her animals. We have a ritual.
3rd Street Promenade
Santa Monica, California
Girl on cell: Wait, how exactly did you manage to pull your ass muscle?
http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/04/do-they-offer-class-on-that.html
Overheard by:
Girl on cell: His thing…it was like a big lamb sandwich!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/07/we-call-it-beastilicious.html
Overheard by: aaron
American woman on cell: So when you go to Moscow, can you bring me back some toothpaste? Yeah, just Crest. Thanks.
13th St
Washington, DC
Loud man on payphone: He said they removed something like four pimples from his prostate. What? No! Pimples! Pimples on his prostate!
Florida State Campus
Overheard by: Dr. Ian Maxwell von Indypants
Loud man on cell: Harvard is the crusty nipple of liberalism.
Colorado University
Denver, Colorado
Student on cell: So, I was going to call you back, but I didn’t want to call you.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/fuck-you-very-much-for-your-honesty.html
Woman on phone: As long as she can wear it without showing her lady garden, then that’s fine by me.
Christchurch
New Zealand
Man on cell: I am completely incapable of original thought.
Toronto
Canadia
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
