I Need a Designated Thinker

Girl on cell: It’s not that I don’t want to get wasted. I want to get wasted. I just don’t want to get fucked up, you know? So I’m not really sure what to do.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/414278088/look-not-drinking-my-weight-in-tequila-is-not-an-option-ok.html

Overheard by: I have that dilemma often

What If We Have Tea and Just Look Out the Window?

Girl on phone: Come on! Join me for a cup of coffee. We’ll finish studying and then we’ll jump out of the window!

University of Trieste
Italy

Overheard by: MissKinney

At Least, He Said It Was Mayonnaise

Girl on cell: Yeah, last semester the professor had this obsession with mayonnaise. It was freaking everyone out.

College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Tori

But Not a Real Green Dress –That’s Cruel

Girl on phone: I’ll go on MySpace and look until I die for a picture of you in a ugly green dress!

Orlando Ale House
Orlando, Florida

You Didn’t Include the Instructions

Left on voice mail: I wanted to talk to you about these cupcakes. They are making me a little nervous. Call me.

Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: friend of the cupcake king

Thank Goodness I Got the Rollover Slut Plan

College girl on cell: So, it’s all good? Cause I’m just re-using the same guys over and over! My number doesn’t go up!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/396687245/only-one-of-us-is-fooled.html

Overheard by: just eating my pizza

And My Dad Says I Don’t Pursue My Goals!

30-something white guy on cell: It may be an all-time low, but I can successfully whack it to Telemundo.

Frisco, Texas

…You’re My Mom and I’ll Always Love You.

Guy talking too loudly on cell phone: Honestly, if you took a dump and smeared it all over my chest, you know, in my face and all that, I?d be fine. Actually I might not, thats pretty extreme, but you know…

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

Even Those Who Didn’t Have Much in the Top Department

Girl on phone talking about going to a strip club for the first time: I mean, I really felt bad for those girls, they like, had to dance around topless!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: What did she think strippers did?

Do You Mean It, or Are You Just Using Her for Sex?

Girl on cell: I said “I love you” like three years ago. Why? When was the last time you said it?
[pause]Girl on cell, shocked: Ew! To who, you whorebag?!
[pause]Girl on cell, incredulous: You say “I love you” to your mom?

200 Bus
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: likewhoa