…Steak Knives Are Much More Effective.

Mommy: Let’s not attack mommy with a fork.

Salem, Oregon

Overheard by: lauraf

It Enchants All the Men Who See It

Teenage boy: I’m so ripped my back has a six pack! Six-pack back!

Portland, Oregon

With the Confucianism on the Side

Yoga lady: I mean, really: just give me the Eskimo sex, not the cannibalism.

Powell’s Bookstore
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: kate

A Stripper Is Born

Middle aged lady in hospital scrubs: It’s a lot of fun and great exercise.
Old toothless lady: I really admire you, I don’t like to show off my fuzzy-fuzzy to just anyone.
Middle aged lady: Yeah, well, I don’t either, but like I said: it’s great exercise.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Karl

My Partner, Paul, Is As Dumbfounded As I Am

Disgruntled dad-to-be: I wish I could sue the urologist, but it is what it is. So now I’m having a son. Whatever.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Glad he’s not my Dad

Thanks to Oregon’s No-Fault Dumpster Law

Girl #1: My tampon just fell out when I ran across the street. Great…how’s it gonna be when I have a baby?
Girl #2: What? Tampons and babies go in the same place?
Girl #3: Yeah, the garbage disposal.
Girls #1 and #2: What?
Girl #3: I meant the dumpster.

Portland, Oregon

When the Need to Be Offensive Overcomes the Need to Get Laid

Short boy, yelling inches away from short girl’s face: We should hang out!
Short girl: (walks away silently)
Tall boy, laughing: Dude!

High School
Eugene, Oregon

But I’m Willing to Share

Three-year-old girl, cheerily scratching at rash: I have excema!

Crowded train
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Eggs

Ad: Duct Tape– Is There Nothing It Can’t Do?

Girl #1: Eww!
Girl #2: Oh, what? You can talk about your abortion, but I can’t talk about warts?

Ashland, Oregon

Overheard by: crystal

One Of These Days I’m Gonna Explode

Girl to friend: I ooze talent, like a pimple oozes pus.

Corvallis, Oregon