Archive for the ‘Overheard at Cornell’ Category

He’s Very Critical for a Schnauzer

Guy on cell: No way — I left my dog in the car. I don’t perform in front of animals!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/overdue-posting-new-blog-sweet.html

Overheard by: sara

… Warn Them about Your Jagged Left Nut?

Chick on cell: You’re gonna go rubbin’ your balls all over other girls and I can’t even…?

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/02/monday-madness.html

Overheard by: lichka

They Couldn’t

Frat boy: We are Ivy League educated men — we can figure out how to turn a bed sheet into a toga.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html

Overheard by: maria

Someone Needs to Hold Up the Score Cards

Grad student #1: Yeah, it is really hard. They have to wait and see how much, like, brain matter they share.
Grad student #2: What does the one twin do while the other twin has sex?
Grad student #1: I think he just lays there and is really uncomfortable.
Grad student #2: Awkward.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/breaks-broke.html

Overheard by: llouie

I Think We Should See Other People

Boyfriend: Do you still have my keys?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I stopped by your house to bring them back, but I couldn’t get in.
Boyfriend: What do you mean you couldn’t get in?
Girlfriend: Well, you weren’t home, and no one else answered the door.
Boyfriend: … You had my keys!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: kgm

It’s $20 Extra to See My Periodic Table

Guy on cell: I’m drunk as fuck right now… Yeah, I went out after my chem test, and they had strippers! Got a lap dance… She was bangin’. You wanna know the best part, dude? I’m doing homework, haha!… Yeah, it’s due tomorrow.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/11/ten-days-all-at-once-huge-update.html

Overheard by: zui