Archive for the ‘Overheard at Cornell’ Category

Enschuldegung, No Habla Escargot

Student #1: I think I want to go to Asia after college.
Student #2: Why?
Student #1: Because I really want to improve my Spanish, and the best way to do that is to live in the country.
Student #2: That’s a good idea.

Overheard by: paralyzedindisbelief

Who Are You?

Drunk girl #1: I don’t know how much I liked that wine.
Drunk girl #2: Me either. It was kind of too sweet.
Drunk girl #3: Guys, I just swallowed a dime.

Overheard by: tan

We Can Dispense with Talking

Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you ‘Baby’?
Frat boy #2: No… You’ve bought anal lubricant before, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying — we’re experienced.

Overheard by: the ear

APB: Shoot on Sight

Freshman ho #1: But… Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah… I’m, like, sooo good! I’ve been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.

Overheard by: newm

Someone Needs to Hold Up the Score Cards

Grad student #1: Yeah, it is really hard. They have to wait and see how much, like, brain matter they share.
Grad student #2: What does the one twin do while the other twin has sex?
Grad student #1: I think he just lays there and is really uncomfortable.
Grad student #2: Awkward.

Overheard by: llouie