Archive for the ‘Overheard at Cornell’ Category

I Must Have Been Kirstie Alley’s Waiter at Some Point

Dude #1: Dude, have you ever, y’know, worked with slop?
Dude #2: Yeah, I’ve done it.
Dude #1: No, seriously, dude — you’ve never been there… with the trough…
Dude #2: Dude, I totally have too done it.
Dude #1: When?
Dude #2: I dunno, man, but I’ve done it.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html

Overheard by: florack

Enschuldegung, No Habla Escargot

Student #1: I think I want to go to Asia after college.
Student #2: Why?
Student #1: Because I really want to improve my Spanish, and the best way to do that is to live in the country.
Student #2: That’s a good idea.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/long-overdue-update-part-3-last.html

Overheard by: paralyzedindisbelief

Who Are You?

Drunk girl #1: I don’t know how much I liked that wine.
Drunk girl #2: Me either. It was kind of too sweet.
Drunk girl #3: Guys, I just swallowed a dime.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/it-is-still-tuesday-in-hawaii.html

Overheard by: tan

We Can Dispense with Talking

Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you ‘Baby’?
Frat boy #2: No… You’ve bought anal lubricant before, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying — we’re experienced.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/breaks-broke.html

Overheard by: the ear

APB: Shoot on Sight

Freshman ho #1: But… Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah… I’m, like, sooo good! I’ve been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/april-is-cruelest-month.html

Overheard by: newm