Archive for the ‘Overheard at Cornell’ Category

I Did­n’t Drop the Oth­er One on the Floor

Dude, ap­proach­ing ta­ble of peo­ple: Ex­cuse me? Hi, I no­ticed you put your sal­ad in the mi­crowave, and I was just won­der­ing… Why?
Asian guy: Why not?
Dude: Well, it’s just… you had two… And you did­n’t put the oth­er one in… I have to know!

Over­heard by: a’­da

I Had to De­fer a Year

Guy: The on­ly rea­son I re­mem­ber the day I got ac­cept­ed to Cor­nell is be­cause it’s the on­ly time I ever walked in on my par­ents hav­ing sex.

Over­heard by: doug

Like Schiz­o­phren­ics and Psy­chotics Do

Girl en­gi­neer: I should do LSD or some­thing… Then I could, like, step out­side my mind and solve all of these prob­lems from, like, a greater depth of be­ing.

Over­heard by: the sin­is­ter min­is­ter

I Must Have Been Kirstie Al­ley’s Wait­er at Some Point

Dude #1: Dude, have you ever, y’­know, worked with slop?
Dude #2: Yeah, I’ve done it.
Dude #1: No, se­ri­ous­ly, dude — you’ve nev­er been there… with the trough…
Dude #2: Dude, I to­tal­ly have too done it.
Dude #1: When?
Dude #2: I dun­no, man, but I’ve done it.

Over­heard by: flo­rack

En­schulde­gung, No Habla Es­car­got

Stu­dent #1: I think I want to go to Asia af­ter col­lege.
Stu­dent #2: Why?
Stu­dent #1: Be­cause I re­al­ly want to im­prove my Span­ish, and the best way to do that is to live in the coun­try.
Stu­dent #2: That’s a good idea.

Over­heard by: par­a­lyzedindis­be­lief

Who Are You?

Drunk girl #1: I don’t know how much I liked that wine.
Drunk girl #2: Me ei­ther. It was kind of too sweet.
Drunk girl #3: Guys, I just swal­lowed a dime.

Over­heard by: tan