Archive for the ‘Overheard at Cornell’ Category

We Can Dispense with Talking

Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you ‘Baby’?
Frat boy #2: No… You’ve bought anal lubricant before, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying — we’re experienced.

Overheard by: the ear

Since It Squirted Me

Preppy girl: I want a t‑shirt! I mean, I stuck my head in a vagina — I totally deserve one!

Overheard by: what would you do for a tee shirt?

Can We Meet to Talk about This?

Blonde on cell: So I called her up and asked her why she was so mad at me, and she was like, ‘You called me, like, five hundred times when I was with Alan, and I think you’re a creepy stalker. And I talked about it with him and he thinks you’re a stalker, too.’ And I was like, ‘You really think I’m some sort of lesbian stalker?! Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed!’

Overheard by: rv