Archive for the ‘Overheard at UMBC’ Category

Gonna Show Your Work?

Pro­fes­sor: So, what is the meati­est cal­cu­la­tor out there?
Stu­dent: TI-89!
Pro­fes­sor: So, what can the TI-89 do?
Stu­dent: Cal­cu­lus!
Pro­fes­sor: Holy shit! In­te­gral cal­cu­lus! I did­n’t know they could do that these days. Well, I’m gonna clutch my gen­i­tals and go hide in the cor­ner!

How This Is Rel­e­vant to Jane Eyre Has Yet to Be­come Clear

Pro­fes­sor: So the idea of women get­ting fore­play be­fore sex of­ten ends up be­ing a way…
Stu­dent (cut­ting her off): For him to get you just wet enough so he can stick it in.
Pro­fes­sor: Well, I was try­ing to think of a more po­lite way to say it, but…yes.