Professor: It’s like IKEA — you buy some furniture, think you can put it all together, you go home and fail and then go slit your wrists in the corner.
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/or-stab-yourself-in-eye-with-allen-key.html
Overheard by: shawn
Girl: Hey, quit staring at my breasts!
Guy #1: Yeah, why are you staring at my girlfriend’s breasts?
Guy #2: Well, man, see… It’s like this — she’s like my sister.
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: lissa
Girl to stupid friend: If you’re going to lie, check your geography first.
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: stephanie
Chick #1: I have toothpaste on my crotch.
Chick #2: Uh… What?
Chick #1: I was brushing my teeth this afternoon and I got excited.
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/was-it-electric-toothbrush.html
Overheard by: natalie
Guy #1: I totally told her I wasn’t with anyone else on my cruise, but I clearly slept with another girl!
Guy #2: Victory!
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: shannon
Girl: So, what did you do over the break?
Guy: Well, I beat off a lot.
Saugeen snack bar
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/03/wanna-share-this-cookie.html
Overheard by: eric
Chick #1: What’s wrong?
Chick #2: Today I spent, like, an hour getting a dog hair out of my eyeball.
Chick #1: What? How did you do that?
Chick #2: I don’t know, but every day I wake up with dog hair in my eyeballs.
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: christina
Chick: I just want to rub some ointment containing scopolamine and atropine on a broomstick, stick it in my cooch, and fly away!
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/pssh-everyone-feels-this-way-sometimes.html
Overheard by: tiffany
Chick: Hey, how was your reading week?
Dude: Okay. I just went home, did nothing. How was yours?
Chick: It was good. I went to Florida.
Dude: Yeah, I saw some pic—tures… [Awkward silence.] Well, I’ll see ya.
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: alex
Girl #1: So, how long has it been?
Girl #2: Hmmm… about seven months or so.
Girl #3: What are you gonna do about it?
Girl #2: Hold a funeral for my vagina.
Prince Albert’s Diner
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/03/with-like-virgin-as-recessional.html
Overheard by: al