Loud woman #1: My friend is on that. When you fart, it makes you shit oil.
Loud woman #2: Really?
Loud woman #1: Yup, you shit oil and grease.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/08/exxonmobil-is-now-in-pharmaceuticals.html
Overheard by: grossed out
Male student: My GPA doesn’t mean shit if I can’t wipe my own ass, you know?
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/when-youre-right-youre-right.html
White construction worker: What was the name of Speedy Gonzales’ cousin? The slow one…
Mexican construction worker: Why?
White construction worker: Because I want to start calling you that…
Hamilton Street
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/too-stupid-to-be-racist.html
Overheard by: slowpoke rodriguez
Bathroom-bound tech woman: Are you following me? Not that many people follow me at my age.
Tech guy: No. I’m more of the ‘call-is-coming-from-inside-the-house’ kind of guy.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: 2catchapredator
Bubblehead: Well, it’s inhumane. I don’t think they should keep them in cages… The, you know, what-do-they-call-em… kinky Jews.
Frat boy: Dumbass, they’re kinkajous. It’s a small, monkey-like animal, not a person.
Bubblehead: Oh. That’s different, then.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/let-them-control-world-or-theyll-throw.html
Overheard by: crankyprof
Old lady in return line at Wal-Mart: Where are the adult-sized EZ-Bake ovens?
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/07/you-know-ones-with-90-watt-lightbulbs.html
Overheard by: big momma
Guy with hair down to waist and death metal t‑shirt: I really enjoy eating animals that have the ability to eat humans.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/feeling-is-mutual-im-sure.html
Overheard by: horrified zoo-enthusiast
Guy on phone: So, wait — if he put it in yo’ butt that mean the baby gon’ come out yo’ ass?
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/happy-mothers-day.html
Overheard by: flash
Old lady: Nah, he stopped drinking. Now he’s just high on the ecstasy… and a little bit of crack.
57 bus
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/next-stoptobacco.html
Overheard by: pretend I didn’t really hear that
Guy: Yo, Jimmy*! You’re doing a great job!
Jimmy, backing a U‑Haul out of a tiny alley: I’m totally drunk!
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/04/thank-g-d-for-aa.html
Overheard by: anonymous
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
