Archive for the ‘Overheard in Philly’ Category

Mon­keys and Vanil­la Jews Are Fair Game

Bub­ble­head: Well, it’s in­hu­mane. I don’t think they should keep them in cages… The, you know, what-do-they-call-em… kinky Jews.
Frat boy: Dum­b­ass, they’re kinka­jous. It’s a small, mon­key-like an­i­mal, not a per­son.
Bub­ble­head: Oh. That’s dif­fer­ent, then.

Over­heard by: crankyprof

Like Clams.

Guy with hair down to waist and death met­al t‑shirt: I re­al­ly en­joy eat­ing an­i­mals that have the abil­i­ty to eat hu­mans.

Over­heard by: hor­ri­fied zoo-en­thu­si­ast

Thanks, AA!

Old la­dy: Nah, he stopped drink­ing. Now he’s just high on the ec­sta­sy… and a lit­tle bit of crack.

57 bus

Over­heard by: pre­tend I did­n’t re­al­ly hear that

We Re­placed Frank’s Reg­u­lar Fel­la­trix with a Thumb-Suck­er. Let’s Watch What Hap­pens

Black woman #1: Did you suck your thumb growin’ up?
Black woman #2: No, I don’t think so.
Black woman #1: I did. Thumb suck­ers give the best blowjobs, you know.
Black man: Re­al­ly?
Black woman #1 : Yeah. Once I was at a par­ty with a friend, and we hooked up with a guy. Well… we went off to­geth­er and had a test, if… you know what I mean… and he said I was the best — way bet­ter than my friend.
Black man: I’d like to try that test.

Mkt Frank­ford El sub­way stop

Over­heard by: b&n guy