Archive for the ‘Overheard in Philly’ Category

We Re­placed Frank’s Reg­u­lar Fel­la­trix with a Thumb-Suck­er. Let’s Watch What Hap­pens

Black woman #1: Did you suck your thumb growin’ up?
Black woman #2: No, I don’t think so.
Black woman #1: I did. Thumb suck­ers give the best blowjobs, you know.
Black man: Re­al­ly?
Black woman #1 : Yeah. Once I was at a par­ty with a friend, and we hooked up with a guy. Well… we went off to­geth­er and had a test, if… you know what I mean… and he said I was the best — way bet­ter than my friend.
Black man: I’d like to try that test.

Mkt Frank­ford El sub­way stop

Over­heard by: b&n guy

I’m Sav­ing Con­ver­sa­tion for the Right Woman

Dude #1: Yeah, I go to gay bars some­times.
Dude #2: Re­al­ly? So, are you say­ing you like guys?
Dude #1: No, I don’t like guys, but when I go to gay bars I just dance with them and flirt with them. It’s not like I have con­ver­sa­tions with them.
Dude #2: … So then maybe you’re bi?
Dude #1: No, I’m just a peo­ple per­son.

Over­heard by: mr. Wtf?

The Ul­ti­mate “Get Out of Jail Free” Card

Boyfriend: Damn, bitch! Yo’ braces just nicked my lip!
Girl­friend: Well, I don’t hear you com­plain­ing they be nickin’ yo’ dick when I be suckin’ you off!
Boyfriend: Damn, bitch! You is hot!‑starts-really-early-these-days.html

Over­heard by: ouch!

Three 6 Mafia Ap­pears on the Rachael Ray Show

Guy #1, at uri­nal: That bitch is out of con­trol.
Guy #2, at uri­nal: Yeah, she’s all kinds of fucked up. She needs to chill.
Guy #1: She needs to fuckin’ sim­mer. Sim­mer and sauté.

Over­heard by: team­cin­na­mon