Archive for the ‘Overheard in the Valley’ Category

Though Sometimes I Daydream about the Former

Man: I’m working with little kids now, you know. I babysit for teachers. At a nursery.
Girl: Oh?
Man: Yeah, I kinda like how the kids are recycled every year… I don’t mean, like, cut up and made into new babies, but that I get new ones and the old ones move on.

Overheard by:

Second-Best Sex I Ever Had

Woman: Sleeping with him just never feels consensual. It’s like being raped by your brother.
Friend: Yeah, it felt like that for me, too.

The Food Chain’s There — We Just Have to Use It

Girl: I hate geese.
Guy: Because they’re Canadian?
Girl: No, the fat white ones. I hate them because they’re fat. And greedy.
Guy: Yeah, what’s up with that? They always run right up to you if you have bread.
Girl: And they totally harass the ducks, man!
Guy: Yeah, what the fuck?! Stupid geese. Fuck that shit, man. Fuck that shit.
Girl: Yeah!