Archive for the ‘Panhandling’ Category

Man, What Isn’t?

Drunk hobo: Got any spare change so I can buy me some pussy? [Sees man holding sign, “Jesus loves you.”] … It’s in the Bible!

Powell and Market Streets
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Peggy

All Religions Have the Same Basic Premise

Beggar girl to lady: Miss, look at you. You’re so beautiful! Give me money and God will bless you. Your boyfriend will marry you.
Man: We’re already married.
Beggar girl: Then you will be blessed with many, many babies.
Man: But I don’t want any babies.
Beggar girl: What?! Shame on you for not wanting babies! God will smite you for this! Unless you give me money…


Overheard by: Mirchi

Oh, You're Just Still Pissed That I Stole Your Lucky Charms.

Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!

Leamington Spa

Overheard by: Bleep

Don't Flirt With the Homeless, Dude

Gay guy to hobo: Good morning. Did you get a hair cut?
Hobo: (mutters about spare change)
Gay guy: I know you got a hair cut! See, if you would have said hi to me, maybe I would have given you a dollar or something! (starts walking down street) Why do people have to be so ignorant on such a sunny day?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Meater Maid