Archive for the ‘Panhandling’ Category

Man, What Is­n’t?

Drunk hobo: Got any spare change so I can buy me some pussy? [Sees man hold­ing sign, “Je­sus loves you.”] … It’s in the Bible!

Pow­ell and Mar­ket Streets
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Peg­gy

All Re­li­gions Have the Same Ba­sic Premise

Beg­gar girl to la­dy: Miss, look at you. You’re so beau­ti­ful! Give me mon­ey and God will bless you. Your boyfriend will mar­ry you.
Man: We’re al­ready mar­ried.
Beg­gar girl: Then you will be blessed with many, many ba­bies.
Man: But I don’t want any ba­bies.
Beg­gar girl: What?! Shame on you for not want­i­ng ba­bies! God will smite you for this! Un­less you give me mon­ey…


Over­heard by: Mirchi

Oh, You’re Just Still Pissed That I Stole Your Lucky Charms.

Beard­ed el­der­ly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Sa­tan! You dis­eased mon­key fuck­ing dog wank­ing shit­cunt!
Man, pass­ing by: Par­don?
Beard­ed el­der­ly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cock­suck­ing pe­dophile wanker! (turn­ing to pass­ing woman) Ex­cuse me my dear, I’m ter­ri­bly sor­ry to both­er you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, pass­ing by: Sor­ry, no.
Beard­ed el­der­ly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to pass­ing man) Go fuck your­self, you cunt! I’ll vom­it on your fuck­ing dog!

Leam­ing­ton Spa

Over­heard by: Bleep

Don’t Flirt With the Home­less, Dude

Gay guy to hobo: Good morn­ing. Did you get a hair cut?
Hobo: (mut­ters about spare change)
Gay guy: I know you got a hair cut! See, if you would have said hi to me, maybe I would have giv­en you a dol­lar or some­thing! (starts walk­ing down street) Why do peo­ple have to be so ig­no­rant on such a sun­ny day?

Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Meater Maid