Mother to screaming child: Look, if it were up to me, you could watch all the porn you want.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
The Limbo Is Not a Man’s Game, Son.
Mother to little boy: Stop that! You’re gonna hurt your scrotum!
Boston, Massachusetts
…Isn’t This Fun?
Little girl, excitedly building snowman: Mommy, look, look! This could be his hat!
Mother: No, Shelly.
Little girl, dejectedly: But mommy…
Mother, exasperated: No! It’s not even proportionate to the snowman!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Only in Boston…
Why Some Kids Wet the Bed
Mother to five-year-old: Keep moving, we don’t want to be in the first car. If the train crashes, we’d be done for.
Metro North Railroad
New York City, New York
Overheard by: BOB Sled
So You and the Doctors Keep Saying…
Small child entering restroom: Mom, why can’t we go to the boys’ room? Because I’ve got a girl with me?
Mom: You are a girl!
Sushi Restaurant
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: zombie z
But They Have Frosting!
Kid: Dad, can we get Pop-Tarts?
Ponytail dad: No.
Kid: Why?
Ponytail dad: Because they’re… disgustingly poisonous!
Carrollton, Georgia
Overheard by: Kez
Guess It’s Montessori School for You Then
Dad, changing son’s diaper: Why don’t you want to wear a diaper? You want to run around naked and piss and poop all over the floor?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: What are you, an anarchist?
New Jersey
…Steak Knives Are Much More Effective.
Mommy: Let’s not attack mommy with a fork.
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: lauraf
That’s Why Her Name Is Bjorrjammijjinanan
Shorter kid playing basketball to taller kid: Your dad bought your mom at Ikea!
Watertown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ariel
That Is So Cliche.
Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one’s about Matt*–my surrogate father.
Amherst, Massachusetts
