Very short gay man: It’s so hard being a vegetarian. My parents can’t accept my sexuality or my religion… I’m living in a toilet!
Guernsey
England
Overheard by: Catie
Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
Fisher-Price Introduces the Backyardigans Butt Plug
Mom gripping three kids by their collars with one hand while pointing with each word at each kid with her other hand: I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. Another. Word. About. Sticking. Something. Up. Your. Asses!
Toy aisle, Wal-Mart
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: keller-wish i’d gotten there fifteen seconds earlier
I’m Too Tired to Hold My Sphincters Shut
Girl: We need to go steal more diapers from Target.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Not Until You Figure Out Which Wire to Clip, Sweetie.
Mother: Just sit there a minute. I need to go say goodbye to Jamie*.
Three-year-old boy, buckled into stroller, trying to stand: Let me out of this booby trap!
County Fair
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Cat
…Mister “I Cut Myself with Safety Scissors”
Son to father, exiting hospital: Dad, what’s a disability?
Father: It’s like when someone loses their finger in an accident, (pause) which will probably happen to you.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/04/father-knows-best.html
Overheard by: Jon
Remember What Happened to Your Sister the S’more?
Six-year-old boy: Mom! I want a cookie.
Mom: If you don’t start behaving you’re going to turn into a deep-fried boy on a stick at the state fair.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/382002415/someone-will-try-that-next-year.html
Overheard by: Ian
That’s for Him to Decide
New dad: Look! These clothes are cute. Oh, look at this dress!
New mum: You have a boy, not a girl!
Department Store
Melbourne
Australia
Doughnuts, at Least, Are Cheaper by the Dozen
Mother to daughter: And soon you’ll be having babies…
Daughter’s friend: I want a baby.
Daughter: What?!
Friend: Actually I want a doughnut, but no one was listening to me.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: and i want a pony
This Is Why I Divorced Your Father
Mother to child: You need to get up off the floor.
Kid: No!
(small dog approaches, starts licking kid’s face)
(kid laughs as mother becomes even angrier, then dog begins humping kid)
Kid: Get him off me, get him off me!
Mother, calmly: See? This is what happens when you lie on the floor. This is why we can’t lay down on the floor.
Portland, Maine
…Steak Knives Are Much More Effective.
Mommy: Let’s not attack mommy with a fork.
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: lauraf
