All Of Hef’s Kids Have Asked This at Least Once

Little boy: Mommy, can we go back to the giant trampoline where you said you saw sexy daddy?

Sedona, Arizona

Overheard by: J

The Unkindest Cold Cut Of All

Young son, after burping loudly: I burped!
Father: Does it smell like baloney?
Young son: No…?
Father: Then you’re not a man yet!

Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Big D.

…Prematurely

Overweight mom, walking away from grave, to young sons: If you don’t start behaving, you are going to be buried here.

Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia

Really, Who Wants to Lay Eggs and Have a Guy Shoot on Them?

Student #1: My friend’s mom didn’t let him watch The Little Mermaid because she was half naked.
Student #2: Yeah, Ariel was such a ho-bag.
Student #1: You know she just wanted those legs so she could spread ’em.

Loma Linda, California

The Graduate, in a Nutshell

Guy: My parents seem fake. My parents’ friends seem really really fake.

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

Well, As Long As You’ve Thought This Through.

Woman #1: So you’re going to name your son Jesus?
Woman #2: Why not? People name their kids “Messiah,” and it means the same damn thing.

Alabama

Overheard by: Matthew Roberts

Wouldn’t Going Potty First Be Most Important?

Mother in bathroom stall to small child: We can go soon, but first mommy has to go potty, then put her pants back on. Put her pants back on… That’s the most important thing.

Puyallup, Washington

Overheard by: in the next stall…

My Partner, Paul, Is As Dumbfounded As I Am

Disgruntled dad-to-be: I wish I could sue the urologist, but it is what it is. So now I’m having a son. Whatever.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Glad he’s not my Dad

For the Last Time, You’re Not Getting My American Express Card

Five-year-old boy, calling to mother in bathroom stall: Mom, we need to talk about something.
Mom: Can it wait?
Five-year-old boy: No.
Mom: What is it?
Five-year-old boy: I need more credit. You don’t give me enough credit for the things I do, and my feathers are simply getting ruffled by this.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Laughing

But I Loved “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure”

Young mother to five-year-old daughter: Morgan! Come here! Do you remember that film we watched about perverts? Now hold my hand!

Clapham Common Post Office
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardlondon/23288.html