But I Loved “Pee-wee’s Big Ad­ven­ture”

Young moth­er to five-year-old daugh­ter: Mor­gan! Come here! Do you re­mem­ber that film we watched about per­verts? Now hold my hand!

Clapham Com­mon Post Of­fice
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardlondon/23288.html

Kids Are Eas­i­ly Fooled by Short Hair­cuts and Bari­tone Voic­es

Moth­er hold­ing small child as she sees a girl­friend: Sam­mi* look! It’s Deb­bie! Say hi to Deb­bie!
Small child: Hi, ug­ly man!

Tar­get
Tra­verse City, Michi­gan

Your Ed­i­tors Can’t Wait for That Sit­com

Very short gay man: It’s so hard be­ing a veg­e­tar­i­an. My par­ents can’t ac­cept my sex­u­al­i­ty or my re­li­gion… I’m liv­ing in a toi­let!

Guernsey
Eng­land

Over­heard by: Catie

Fish­er-Price In­tro­duces the Back­yardi­gans Butt Plug

Mom grip­ping three kids by their col­lars with one hand while point­ing with each word at each kid with her oth­er hand: I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. An­oth­er. Word. About. Stick­ing. Some­thing. Up. Your. Ass­es!

Toy aisle, Wal-Mart
Co­lum­bia, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: keller-wish i’d got­ten there fif­teen sec­onds ear­li­er

I’m Too Tired to Hold My Sphinc­ters Shut

Girl: We need to go steal more di­a­pers from Tar­get.

Texas Chris­t­ian Uni­ver­si­ty
Fort Worth, Texas

Not Un­til You Fig­ure Out Which Wire to Clip, Sweet­ie.

Moth­er: Just sit there a minute. I need to go say good­bye to Jamie*.
Three-year-old boy, buck­led in­to stroller, try­ing to stand: Let me out of this boo­by trap!

Coun­ty Fair
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Cat

…Mis­ter “I Cut My­self with Safe­ty Scis­sors”

Son to fa­ther, ex­it­ing hos­pi­tal: Dad, what’s a dis­abil­i­ty?
Fa­ther: It’s like when some­one los­es their fin­ger in an ac­ci­dent, (pause) which will prob­a­bly hap­pen to you.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/04/father-knows-best.html

Over­heard by: Jon

Re­mem­ber What Hap­pened to Your Sis­ter the S’­more?

Six-year-old boy: Mom! I want a cook­ie.
Mom: If you don’t start be­hav­ing you’re go­ing to turn in­to a deep-fried boy on a stick at the state fair.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/382002415/someone-will-try-that-next-year.html

Over­heard by: Ian

That’s for Him to De­cide

New dad: Look! These clothes are cute. Oh, look at this dress!
New mum: You have a boy, not a girl!

De­part­ment Store
Mel­bourne
Aus­tralia

Dough­nuts, at Least, Are Cheap­er by the Dozen

Moth­er to daugh­ter: And soon you’ll be hav­ing ba­bies…
Daugh­ter’s friend: I want a ba­by.
Daugh­ter: What?!
Friend: Ac­tu­al­ly I want a dough­nut, but no one was lis­ten­ing to me.

Toron­to
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: and i want a pony