Student #1: My friend’s mom didn’t let him watch The Little Mermaid because she was half naked.
Student #2: Yeah, Ariel was such a ho-bag.
Student #1: You know she just wanted those legs so she could spread ’em.
Loma Linda, California
Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
The Graduate, in a Nutshell
Guy: My parents seem fake. My parents’ friends seem really really fake.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Well, As Long As You’ve Thought This Through.
Woman #1: So you’re going to name your son Jesus?
Woman #2: Why not? People name their kids “Messiah,” and it means the same damn thing.
Alabama
Overheard by: Matthew Roberts
Wouldn’t Going Potty First Be Most Important?
Mother in bathroom stall to small child: We can go soon, but first mommy has to go potty, then put her pants back on. Put her pants back on… That’s the most important thing.
Puyallup, Washington
Overheard by: in the next stall…
My Partner, Paul, Is As Dumbfounded As I Am
Disgruntled dad-to-be: I wish I could sue the urologist, but it is what it is. So now I’m having a son. Whatever.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Glad he’s not my Dad
For the Last Time, You’re Not Getting My American Express Card
Five-year-old boy, calling to mother in bathroom stall: Mom, we need to talk about something.
Mom: Can it wait?
Five-year-old boy: No.
Mom: What is it?
Five-year-old boy: I need more credit. You don’t give me enough credit for the things I do, and my feathers are simply getting ruffled by this.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Laughing
But I Loved “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure”
Young mother to five-year-old daughter: Morgan! Come here! Do you remember that film we watched about perverts? Now hold my hand!
Clapham Common Post Office
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardlondon/23288.html
Kids Are Easily Fooled by Short Haircuts and Baritone Voices
Mother holding small child as she sees a girlfriend: Sammi* look! It’s Debbie! Say hi to Debbie!
Small child: Hi, ugly man!
Target
Traverse City, Michigan
Your Editors Can’t Wait for That Sitcom
Very short gay man: It’s so hard being a vegetarian. My parents can’t accept my sexuality or my religion… I’m living in a toilet!
Guernsey
England
Overheard by: Catie
Fisher-Price Introduces the Backyardigans Butt Plug
Mom gripping three kids by their collars with one hand while pointing with each word at each kid with her other hand: I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. Another. Word. About. Sticking. Something. Up. Your. Asses!
Toy aisle, Wal-Mart
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: keller-wish i’d gotten there fifteen seconds earlier
