Mommy: Let’s not attack mommy with a fork.
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: lauraf
Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy
Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!
Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California
That Is So Cliche.
Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one’s about Matt*–my surrogate father.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Is He Talking About Vagina? Discuss.
Little boy to mother: Mommy, it smells like eating wieners… right?
Walgreens Parking Lot
Port Chester, New York
Overheard by: Ldawg
At the Hermaphroditic Contortionist Children’s Support Group
Five-year-old girl, pointing at store window: Balls!
Young mom: That’s right honey, those are balls, but you ate your balls, huh?
Five-year-old girl: I ate my balls!
Buffalo, New York
Stop It, Lady, You’re Making the Scientologists Look Right
Mom to five-year-old son who is standing quietly: Settle down before I have to give you another pill!
Line for a theme park ride
Florida
Overheard by: Kim
I’m Beginning to Regret Letting You Steal Me from That Playground
Four-year old: But I want to go in there!
Frazzled mother: No! Let’s go, we have to get home.
Four-year old (crying): You aren’t the right mother for me!
Berlin
Germany
…With a Bastard Vampire Baby
Mom to daughter in Team Edward t‑shirt: If you were taking your pill in the first place, you wouldn’t be pregnant right now.
New Hampshire
Overheard by: let me kick her in the stomach
And That’s How You Were Conceived
WASP mom to her two pre-teen kids: Your father got fucked in the ass.
Micawber Books
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
So You and the Doctors Keep Saying…
Small child entering restroom: Mom, why can’t we go to the boys’ room? Because I’ve got a girl with me?
Mom: You are a girl!
Sushi Restaurant
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: zombie z
