Archive for the ‘Parents’ Category

Worth a Shot

Mom: I’ll have a di­et Coke.
Dad: I’ll have an iced tea.
10-year-old girl: I’ll have a Bai­ley’s cof­fee.
Wait­ress: Um… Can I see some ID?
10-year-old girl: Okay, I’ll just have cof­fee, then.

Cheese­cake Fac­to­ry
Mil­wau­kee, Wis­con­sin

Over­heard by: around the cor­ner

No One in Paris Ever Pees on Walls or Sits on Steps

En­raged French­man to woman and son who is dis­creet­ly pee­ing on wall: What is wrong with you? Find a bath­room, this is a busi­ness! (starts walk­ing away and then comes to a woman and her teenage daugh­ter sit­ting on steps) And you two, get out! What are you, from the moun­tains? (to him­self, walk­ing away) Oh my god! I don’t be­lieve this!


A Great So­lu­tion to All This Would Be to Have One or Two More Kids

Dad, scream­ing at four kids: Get back here, you lit­tle bas­tards! If you don’t be­have, I’ll make you sleep in the ho­tel bath­room when we get there! [10-year-old drops his tick­et, and it starts blow­ing away.] Jim­my! What the hell?! How could you do some­thing so fuck­ing stu­pid?! Well, what are you stand­ing there for? Run and get it!
Mom, scream­ing at dad: Why don’t you re­lax?! He dropped his tick­et — so what, you son of a bitch?! We’ll make it there and then you will re­lax! Your stress is­sues are re­al­ly dri­ving me crazy!
La­dy be­hind them in line, to her own hus­band: I love you, hon­ey.