Archive for the ‘Pee’ Category

Yet You Won’t Swal­low Your Hus­band’s Se­men?

Mid­dle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That’s your pee. That’s your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Wom­an’s friend: It’s on your shirt now.
Mid­dle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It’s okay, it’s just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It’s just pee. Come, gimme kiss­es, stink-stink.
Wom­an’s friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Mid­dle-aged woman, hiss­ing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.

Star­bucks
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Pips

As­para­gus Pee Is For­bid­den by the Gene­va Con­ven­tion

Creepy guy: Hey, Joey*.
Joey: Yeah?
Creepy guy: Have you ever put pee in a Su­per Soak­er be­fore?
Joey: Yeah.
Friend: What?
Girl: Ewww.
Friend: What does it feel like if you’re sprayed?
Creepy guy, shrugs: Kin­da tin­gles.

Ge­og­ra­phy class, All Saints High School
Whit­by, On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: fresh­man whis­per­er

Doc­tor: Works Every Time

Cheer­leader: So, I had this prob­lem with pee­ing and I vis­it­ed a doc­tor.
Friend: What did he say?
Cheer­leader: You can’t imag­ine… He want­ed to see the ef­fect, so I had to pee in front of him while he’s watch­ing me do­ing it!
Friend: Wow. I would freak out if that hap­pened to me.

Class­room, Mon­tana State Uni­ver­si­ty
Boze­man, Mon­tana

Over­heard by: Awe­some Naveed

Would­n’t Want Peo­ple to Think I’m Less Than a La­dy

20-year-old fe­male emo: So ba­si­cal­ly, af­ter hours of ar­gu­ing out­side his house, I was so fed up I told him to fuck­ing suck my dick.
30-year-old fe­male friend: Wow, what hap­pened af­ter that?
20-year-old fe­male emo: I left. He was be­ing such a fuck­ing cunt. I want­ed to piss in his mouth. He made me dri­ve home drunk!
30-year-old fe­male friend: He could at least of­fer to like, let you spend the night.
20-year-old fe­male friend: Like, I don’t even know, he’s such a bitch boyfriend. I hon­est­ly hopes he gets the her­pes.
30-year-old fe­male friend: You have such a dirty mouth.
20-year-old fe­male emo: Oh, is my lip­stick smudged or some­thing?

Star­bucks
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia