Flaming gay over speakerphone: Just like that boy from Miami last night, I tried to suck his dick like I was trying to win an Olympic gold medal. And that’s the only ass I would lick even if it wasn’t clean.
Washington, DC
Archive for the ‘Penis’ Category
Our Guess Would Be Extremely Narrow Hips
Girl #1: It was the size of a Double‑A battery.
Girl #2: Best sex ever, right?
Girl #1, shamefully: I don’t know what’s wrong with me!
Miami, Florida
Hello? I’m Eating a Cucumber Sandwich With No Crusts!
Guy #1: What are those, zucchini?
Guy #2, with sandwich: No, they’re cucumbers.
Girl: Oh please, they’re like the same thing.
Guy #2: No, they’re totally different. Not every phallic-shaped green vegetable is the same thing.
Girl (pauses): Why does everything have to be about penises with you?
San Diego, California
Overheard by: i just came here to clean the air ducts
Knowing She’s Got the Biggest Package in Town
Frat boy #1: Wait… so they didn’t rape her?
Frat boy #2: No dude, turns out she had a penis. Now every time I see the girl I throw up a little in my mouth.
Laramie, Wyoming
Well, That’s a Given
HS boy #1: I love cheesecake in my mouth.
HS boy #2: You love dick in your mouth!!
HS boy #1: Well, yeah, if it has cheesecake on it!
Christiansburg, Virginia
…For Being So Gay.
Oversexed frat boy at house party: Yeah! We’re gonna shoot ’em with our sperm cannons!
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Katie M
Even Circumcising Them Is Dicey
Man to wife: The only reason it’s an aphrodisiac is because it takes huge balls to cut the penis off a tiger.
Burough Market
London
England
Overheard by: Justyn Egert
You’d Think That, Wouldn’t You?
Guy yelling at roommate from window: Hey, Jimmy*! The girls are the ones without the penises!
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/04/thanks-mom.html
Overheard by: anonymous
She Won’t Accept the Solution I Worked Out
Nerdy Asian guy: My friend is having a problem…
Drunk Asian guy: Can you solve it with your penis?
UCLA
California
Overheard by: Amused
And Just a Heads Up That Your Grades Will All Suck
Professor: We are going to talk about tea rooms. Which involve no tea. Unless by “tea,” you mean “cock.”
Columbus,Ohio
Overheard by: Em
