Disheveled hipster: His dick was so crooked that it had, like, a knuckle!
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: Mrs The Experience
Archive for the ‘Penis’ Category
And If That Means We Can’t Be Married within Our Faith, So Be It
Chick: No, you will not show my grandma your penis! I don’t want my grandma telling me that you’re too small or too big for her granddaughter!
Puerto Allegra restaurant
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Amber
I'm Not Sure I've Heard This Version Of “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”
Teenage boy: She said his bazooka was too big for her funhole.
High School
North Carolina
Overheard by: aWkWaRd
Just Remember, “A Friend in Bed Is a Friend in Head”
Guy on cell: So, when are you coming back? You know, anytime you wanna come up here, you got a cock waiting for you.
Hoboken, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cris
Someone’s Been Reading People at the Dentist’s Office
Mom: Did you hear that Harry Lee died?
20-something daughter: Yea, and Sylvester Stallone came to the funeral, I thought that was odd.
Previously uninterested dad: Interesting fact about Sylvester Stallone- he has a penial implant.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
… Little Candy Chlamydia
Woman with two toddlers, ordering cake: I need a P-E-N-I-S cake…
Manager, walking in, gleefully oblivious: Ohhh, a penis cake! We can put fake hair on it. Last time, we had fake semen shooting out…
Huntington, California
Too Late!
Girl, trying to measure three different spring pans: How are you going to measure that?
Guy: To be honest, I'm thinking about the size of my penis.
Girl: Um…
Guy: I think this one is the one that's seven inches.
Girl: Uh…
Guy: If anyone asks, I never did this.
Jersey City, New Jersey
But I Still *Adored* Gone with the Wind.
Naked dude #1: I'm really surprised by how long it is.
Naked dude #2: Yeah… It's quite long.
Locker Room
Kansas City, Missouri
Isn't That an Old Irish Drinking Song?
Neal Patrick Harris lookalike: Okay, okay: no pickle dicks on Molly!
Albuquerque, New Mexico
None Of Which Are All That Hard
Student: Have you ever heard of the penis game?
Female professor: Which one? I've played many penis games.
Greek Myth Class
Illinois Wesleyan University
Overheard by: problem