Black woman, to friend: I love Costco. It makes me like, want to have five kids.
Costco
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Archive for the ‘Pennsylvania’ Category
Which Is Also What I Wrote for My Essay About the Statue Of Liberty
High school girl, ranting to friend about biology class: It's *so* annoying…I hate evolution! He goes all into the *designing* of a cell and I'm like “God created it and that's all we need to know.” We don't have to go all hi-def into it!
Lancaster Mennonite HIgh School
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Mary Kay Letourneau Always Knew What She Wanted
Kid: Woah, you just blew my mind!
Teacher: That's not all I'll blow.
High School
Pennsylvania
In Fact, He's Delicious
Captain on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, just wanted to let you know the reason this flight was delayed. The plane collided with a bird upon landing. It's no big deal; it just hit a body part. The bird is okay.
Airport
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle (who is skeptical about the well-being of the bird)
When Scientists Talk Dirty
Physics professor demonstrating electrical charges: I have my magic wand and my magic fur. Now, I’m going to rub my magic wand with my magic fur!
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
My Dad Kept Telling People to Kill Me
Student #1: I told my dad I wanted to be famous, and he told me I should kill someone. I was like, seven.
Student #2: At least he's supportive.
Philedelphia University, Pennsylvania
And Make Our Points Without Using the Word “Whatever”
Girl in anthropology class: So… Islam says that men can marry four wives, but women can only marry one husband. Whatever.
Professor: Let's try to maintain some cultural relativism!
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: nina
Well He Did Have Unlimited Access to Food
Teen boy: Look! There's that pink car with the fat lady again!
Teen girl: She's everywhere! She must be Jesus!
Athens, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Mateo
If Not, I Don't Think You're Ready for This Sorority
Girl at dining hall: I mean: haven't you ever smelled your own bellybutton?
Lehigh Universuty
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Olive Oyl’s Been Dating Popeye for a Long Time
Hipster chick: I am who I am and that’s what I like about me, but it keeps getting me into these shitty situations.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania