Guy to girlfriend: If I go to jail for you, you better get your tits done.
Viewmont Mall
Dickson City, Pennsylvania
Archive for the ‘Pennsylvania’ Category
You Try Getting Vaginal Juice and Chocolate Sauce Out of Shag
Lesbian: You might think I’m weird, but what if we put in rubber floors?
Girlfriend: Um, no. [Lesbian #1 stalks off toward drywall materials, muttering under her breath.]
Home Depot
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
…With a Preference for Manila Sex
Out-of-towner: I like being paid in envelopes; it makes me feel like a prostitute.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jonathan
He's Been Known to Pleasure Several Girls en Brochette
Girl #1: His penis was huge, like 12 inches! He was holding it and his hand looked so tiny!
Girl #2: No wonder he doesn't get any play, that shit hurts!
Girl #3: Yeah, it would like come out my ass!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Just 2
A+
Male art student in response to female art student’s sculpture: It’s really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.
Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania
Probably All Those Vaccinations
Guy: They might be autistic, but that doesn't mean they don't want to have gay sex with children.
New Britain, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Grace
They're Right Next the Megavitamins, Which Also Don't Work
Guy: I'm not going to stop and ask someone, “excuse me, where are your ray guns?”
CVS
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
This Happens a Lot at Hippie Sex Retreats
Drunk guy: Oh my god! Everyone in this room is so ugly!
Irish Pub
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jackie
Well the Eye Shadow Would Look Silly without It
Hipster girl: Why won’t you take my last name when we get married? It would be really progressive of you…
Hipster guy: No, it wouldn’t! It would be emasculating!
Hipster girl: Emasculating? Like how?
Hipster guy: Like me wearing a dress…
Hipster girl: But you already do that!
IKEA
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Michael Moore As a Kid
Eight-year-old boy: Don’t you know that the Kool-Aid Man doesn’t exist?! He’s just a tool for marketing!
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan