Archive for the ‘Pennsylvania’ Category

Spelled “Shove On”

Blonde: Ohhh my god! How adorable is he! [Her two friends agree, cooing.]Baby dad­dy hold­ing in­fant: Thank you, girls.
Blonde: Can I hold him?
Ba­by dad­dy: Yeah, sure… Here you go.
Blonde: Awww, I love him! What’s his name?
Ba­by dad­dy: Uh­hh… Shit, I know this… Shavon? Shavawn?
Blonde: You don’t even know your son’s name?!
Ba­by dad­dy: Shoot, I did ear­li­er. Shavon! Yeah… That’s it. Damn, and I helped name this one, too.

Tem­ple Uni­ver­si­ty
Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: hot child in the city

And To­geth­er, Our Geek­i­ness Is Un­stop­pable

20-some­thing girl: If any­one ever punch­es me, all of the tur­tles in west­ern Penn­syl­va­nia will get to­geth­er, form a gi­ant stack, and bite that per­son.
20-some­thing guy: Wow. Like Voltron?
20-some­thing girl: Why did I mar­ry you?
20-some­thing guy: *Be­cause* I say things like that.
20-some­thing girl (sigh­ing): Yeah, you’re right.

Wal­nut St
Pitts­burgh, Penn­syl­va­nia

No­body Can Do Sex­u­al Ha­rass­ment Like the In­sane

Crazy bag la­dy, loud­ly: I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to an­oth­er pas­sen­ger on the sub­way)
Crazy bag la­dy, now in pas­sen­ger’s face: I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(fe­male pas­sen­ger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag la­dy: Why you jump­ing? Why you jump­ing, bitch!? You weren’t jumpin’ last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Fe­male pas­sen­ger: Ex­cuse me, ma’am, don’t say that to me! You don’t know me!
(sub­way train stops)
Con­duc­tor: City Hall sta­tion!
Fe­male pas­sen­ger: Ex­cuse me, sir, there’s a crazy la­dy on the sub­way ha­rass­ing the oth­er pas­sen­gers.
Con­duc­tor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(fe­male pas­sen­ger points to crazy woman yelling)
Con­duc­tor: Ma’am, are you both­er­ing peo­ple?
Crazy bag la­dy: Why you tryin’ to fuck me stand­ing up!? Why don’t you fuck me ly­ing down like a gen­tle­man!
Con­duc­tor: Ma’am, I’m call­ing the po­lice.

Broad Street Line Sub­way
Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Or, As Much So As Dan­ny De­Vi­to and Arnold Schwarzeneg­ger

Guy: My sis­ter and I are twins, but I was born first.
Woman #1: Do you mean you just came out first?
Guy: Well, see, what hap­pened was I am two years old­er than my sis­ter. [Every­one stares at each other.]Woman #2: … So you and your sis­ter are twins, but she is two years younger?
Guy: Oh, wait, I’m get­ting con­fused with an­oth­er fam­i­ly sto­ry. I am two years old­er than my sis­ter, but I’m pret­ty sure we’re not twins, ei­ther.

900 West Val­ley Road
Wayne, Penn­syl­va­nia