When Scientists Talk Dirty

Physics professor demonstrating electrical charges: I have my magic wand and my magic fur. Now, I’m going to rub my magic wand with my magic fur!

Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania

My Dad Kept Telling People to Kill Me

Student #1: I told my dad I wanted to be famous, and he told me I should kill someone. I was like, seven.
Student #2: At least he's supportive.

Philedelphia University, Pennsylvania

And Make Our Points Without Using the Word “Whatever”

Girl in anthropology class: So… Islam says that men can marry four wives, but women can only marry one husband. Whatever.
Professor: Let's try to maintain some cultural relativism!

Collegeville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: nina

Well He Did Have Unlimited Access to Food

Teen boy: Look! There's that pink car with the fat lady again!
Teen girl: She's everywhere! She must be Jesus!

Athens, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Mateo

If Not, I Don't Think You're Ready for This Sorority

Girl at dining hall: I mean: haven't you ever smelled your own bellybutton?

Lehigh Universuty
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

Olive Oyl’s Been Dating Popeye for a Long Time

Hipster chick: I am who I am and that’s what I like about me, but it keeps getting me into these shitty situations.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Mavis Returns to the Quiet Dignity Of Ice Cream

Woman to friend: I cannot even begin to tell you about the ridiculousness of yogurt.

The Gayborhood
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: inquiring mind

Softly with Your Song, or What?

Black woman in the ER on cell: You killed him? What do you mean you “killed him”?

Chestnut Hill Hospital
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

The Best Part Is, They've Trademarked That Name

Friendly waitress, serious: Would you like to order a happy ending?

Lycoming Mall
Pennsdale, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: DazedinPA

But I'm Currently Putting David Hasselhoff Through a Rigorous Mentorship Program

Elderly Italian lady to store clerk, while judging jugs of wine: I'm the last of the great drinkers.

Liquor Store
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Steve