Archive for the ‘Pennsylvania’ Category

Well the Eye Shad­ow Would Look Sil­ly with­out It

Hip­ster girl: Why won’t you take my last name when we get mar­ried? It would be re­al­ly pro­gres­sive of you…
Hip­ster guy: No, it would­n’t! It would be emas­cu­lat­ing!
Hip­ster girl: Emas­cu­lat­ing? Like how?
Hip­ster guy: Like me wear­ing a dress…
Hip­ster girl: But you al­ready do that!

IKEA
Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Got My Own Per­son­al Trail Of Tears Over Here

Crazy old white la­dy try­ing on wed­ding veil: So I al­ways won­dered why I did­n’t look good in these things…until 2004.
Dis­in­ter­est­ed cus­tomer: Oh?
Crazy old white la­dy: Yeah, then I found out I was part Na­tive Amer­i­can. At least 5%.
Dis­in­ter­est­ed cus­tomer (con­fused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white la­dy: Yeah. That’s why I don’t look good in veils. Cause we Na­tive Amer­i­cans don’t wear them.
Dis­in­ter­est­ed cus­tomer: I got mar­ried in a cour­t­house.
Crazy old white la­dy: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white peo­ple!

Good­will
Al­toona, Penn­syl­va­nia

The Spon­ta­neous Ad­mis­sion to Grad School Is Just a Myth

Phi­los­o­phy pro­fes­sor: He chose this ex­am­ple be­cause it had sex ap­peal. It turned peo­ple on.
(changes Pow­er­Point slide to pic­ture of bac­te­r­i­al fla­gel­lum)
Male stu­dent: Ohh­h­hh!
Pro­fes­sor: Please don’t have an or­gasm in my class.

Ly­coming Col­lege
Williamsport, Penn­syl­va­nia