Statistics professor: If you’re not good-looking, you’d better be good; and if you’re not good, you’d better be rich… Oh, I’m sorry. It’s true, but I’m still sorry.
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatbu/49683.html
Overheard by: me in cas b12
Loud man on cell: Harvard is the crusty nipple of liberalism.
Colorado University
Denver, Colorado
Middle-aged guy #1: So, Hulk Hogan’s daughter was what — 16 when that show started? Now she must be 19, and she’s dating a 30-year-old?
Middle-aged guy #2: If you’re old enough to drive when you’re 16 and you’re old enough to die for your country when you’re 18, then you’re old enough to make your own decisions.
Middle-aged guy #1: You know, half of those kids that died in World War II never got to experience life as we know it. They were all probably 17-year-old virgins from Iowa.
Middle-aged guy #2: Shit, if I had a kid, I’d take him to a whorehouse in Texas as soon as he turned thirteen.
18 bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Are you experience?
Hipster chick: You know, you can tell it’s a good party by how many people get their stomachs pumped, and whether or not Mark gets naked.
Friend: Totally.
Starbucks
Virginia
Cashier: Sir, would you like to donate that one cent to breast cancer research?
Man: No… I actually think cancer is a great way of controlling population.
Cashier, frowning at him: That’s interesting.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: anastasia
Girl (reading inspirational quote): “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.” (pause) Helen Keller. (to friend) Wasn’t she, like, a killer?
Indigo Bookstore
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Sunissa
Man: I never let anyone I owe money to walk behind me.
Hancock Street, Beacon Hill
Boston, Massachusetts
Queer: If gay people can’t get married then fat people shouldn’t be allowed to have lunch breaks!
Carson Street
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Cassie
Professor: They were playing the Rocky theme song while I was trying to think great thoughts.
McDaniel College, Maryland
Chick: Look, if you’re out sniper-ing hobos, it’s not assassination!
Boyfriend: Nope, it’s population control.
High school cafeteria
Englewood, Colorado
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
