…In the Same Way My Slash­ing You with This Reg­is­ter Key Would Be In­ter­est­ing.

Cashier: Sir, would you like to do­nate that one cent to breast can­cer re­search?
Man: No… I ac­tu­al­ly think can­cer is a great way of con­trol­ling pop­u­la­tion.
Cashier, frown­ing at him: That’s in­ter­est­ing.

Port­land, Ore­gon

Over­heard by: anas­ta­sia

Be­hind the Wheel, Sure

Girl (read­ing in­spi­ra­tional quote): “The best and most beau­ti­ful things in the world can­not be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.” (pause) He­len Keller. (to friend) Was­n’t she, like, a killer?

In­di­go Book­store
Toron­to
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Sunis­sa

How Chi­na Got Ahead of Us

Man: I nev­er let any­one I owe mon­ey to walk be­hind me.

Han­cock Street, Bea­con Hill
Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Fat Peo­ple: Can’t Ar­gue. Eat­ing.

Queer: If gay peo­ple can’t get mar­ried then fat peo­ple should­n’t be al­lowed to have lunch breaks!

Car­son Street
Muncie, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Cassie

On the In­tel­lec­tu­al Ver­sion Of Dou­ble Dare

Pro­fes­sor: They were play­ing the Rocky theme song while I was try­ing to think great thoughts.

Mc­Daniel Col­lege, Mary­land

High School Cafe­te­ria Goes Up in Flames, Pop­u­la­tion Sci­en­tists Say, “Ex­cel­lent!”

Chick: Look, if you’re out sniper-ing ho­bos, it’s not as­sas­si­na­tion!
Boyfriend: Nope, it’s pop­u­la­tion con­trol.

High school cafe­te­ria
En­gle­wood, Col­orado

My Se­cret? I Like Forcible Sex

Drunk teen: Any­one could be a rapist… I could be a rapist, that la­dy with the bag could be a rapist… [La­dy with bag looks over, ap­palled.] Oh, well, I’m sure you are re­al­ly very nice!

King’s Cross Night Bus
Lon­don
Eng­land

Over­heard by: An­drea

Ex­cept for Ex­cre­ment on Out­door Stat­ues

Girl to guy: I think that should be my new catch phrase, “I want my pi­geons!” But what does that even mean?
Guy: If we knew that, all the world’s prob­lems would be solved.

The Star Bar
At­lanta, Geor­gia

Even Made-Up Coun­tries, Like Nor­way.

Teen girl: I don’t know — it just seems like every­one’s in the Olympics now.

Van­cou­ver, British Co­lum­bia
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: snoop­er

Michael Moore As a Kid

Eight-year-old boy: Don’t you know that the Kool-Aid Man does­n’t ex­ist?! He’s just a tool for mar­ket­ing!

Nor­ris­town, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Lan