Archive for the ‘Philosophy’ Category

Holy Shit, I Never Thought of It That Way

Gym rat #1: Maybe I can just get a pocket pussy. I think they’re expensive, though. Unless I can find a used one online.
Gym rat #2: Awww, dude! Who the fuck would sell one of those used?! And why would you buy it?!
Gym rat #1: Why not?
Gym rat #2: Why would you buy something that some other dude came in?!
Gym rat #1: You fuck girls that other guys have cum in before, haven’t you? At least a pocket pussy can be put in the dishwasher. Sure beats some chick refusing to shower!

Planet Fitness
Dorchester, Massachusetts

Good Point —No Effect on Religious Beliefs

Professor: Now, if we did eliminate illness and achieved immortality there might be serious religious repercussions. Can anyone think of how this might affect religious beliefs?
Bimbette: Well, like, if Hitler were immortal, he would, like, go to jail for, like, a million years and then, like, chill out for eternity, you know?

Eternal Youth and Immortality Seminar
Lafayette College, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: knows that Hitler would still be dead because he SHOT himself

In My Hummer

Bartender: I can’t believe she rides her bike to work.
Waitress: Well, she lives just around the corner.
Bartender: I don’t care. If I lived in the parking lot, I would still drive to work.

Phoenix, Arizona

Pass Me the Sports Page, Would Ya?

Hobo #1: Man, you never even realize it — you start to watch The Price Is Right instead of filing your taxes, and then bam — you’re shitting in the park and wiping your ass with newspaper.
Hobo #2: Yeah, man. For me it was Cops.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/05/csi_will_be_my_fate.html