Chick: Look, if you’re out sniper-ing hobos, it’s not assassination!
Boyfriend: Nope, it’s population control.
High school cafeteria
Englewood, Colorado
Archive for the ‘Philosophy’ Category
My Secret? I Like Forcible Sex
Drunk teen: Anyone could be a rapist… I could be a rapist, that lady with the bag could be a rapist… [Lady with bag looks over, appalled.] Oh, well, I’m sure you are really very nice!
King’s Cross Night Bus
London
England
Overheard by: Andrea
Except for Excrement on Outdoor Statues
Girl to guy: I think that should be my new catch phrase, “I want my pigeons!” But what does that even mean?
Guy: If we knew that, all the world’s problems would be solved.
The Star Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Even Made-Up Countries, Like Norway.
Teen girl: I don’t know — it just seems like everyone’s in the Olympics now.
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: snooper
Michael Moore As a Kid
Eight-year-old boy: Don’t you know that the Kool-Aid Man doesn’t exist?! He’s just a tool for marketing!
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Me, Nature, and Judge Judy
Chemistry professor: Now, it may seem that nature has gotten it wrong–but like me, nature never gets it wrong.
University of Auckland
New Zealand
If You Survive, It Starts Tilting the Other Way in Your 30s
Teen girl #1: Isn’t that, like, dangerous?
Teen girl #2: Well, yeah, but I’m at the point in my life where getting wasted is more important than not dying.
Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts
You Won’t Feel a Thing, I Promise
Long-nosed cute blond girl: So you’re basically offering to fuck me in the arse?
Drunk guy: Not in the arse per se, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t get the wrong hole and just go for it.
Long-nosed cute blond girl: You do know we just met five minutes ago?
Drunk guy: What can I say? I work fast.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
I Mean, He Is on Our Bedsheets
Nerdy freshman talking about philosophy: Well, it depends on what you consider real. Like is Spiderman real?
Kid sitting with him: Uh…
Nerdy freshman: Think about it! Is he?
U Mass
Amherst, Massachusetts
The Spontaneous Admission to Grad School Is Just a Myth
Philosophy professor: He chose this example because it had sex appeal. It turned people on.
(changes PowerPoint slide to picture of bacterial flagellum)
Male student: Ohhhhh!
Professor: Please don’t have an orgasm in my class.
Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
