Guy #1, after British tourists leave elevator: Stupid British bitches.
Guy #2: Wow, you hate Brits?
Guy #1: You know it.
Guy #2: But Maggie is British, and you like her.
Guy #1: Yeah, well, that’s because Maggie is a tranny.
Hotel Whitcomb
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Adam
Dad, changing son’s diaper: Why don’t you want to wear a diaper? You want to run around naked and piss and poop all over the floor?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: What are you, an anarchist?
New Jersey
Moody college girl on phone: No, I have to go the macro class right now and pretend to be a Republican. If you don’t agree with the professor, you’re wrong.
(pause)
Moody college girl: Yeah, if I can pull this off I deserve an Emmy, or an Oscar. Hell, I’ll take a cookie!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Chick: The peeing politician doesn’t float my boat.
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
Granola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awesome! He, like, votes no on everything.
Bonnaroo Festival
Manchester, Tennessee
Mom to five-year-old: I don’t like Oprah Winfrey, because it’s her fault Obama is President.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: David Leech
Middle-aged male Wasp: I’m voting for Wil Armstrong.
Middle-aged female Wasp: Isn’t “Wil” only spelled with one l?
Middle-aged male Wasp: Uh, yeah.
Middle-aged female Wasp: That’s kinda gay.
Denver, Colorado
Pleasant English lady in line at checkout: Whoever invented all these human rights should be shot!
Scott Air Force Base
St. Clair County, Illinois
Overheard by: Ninjamedic
Loud man on cell: Harvard is the crusty nipple of liberalism.
Colorado University
Denver, Colorado
Big-haired mother to friends: I like what Sarah Palin did with her kids’ names. I mean, I want to give my kids names that are cool, but nothing that would, you know, prevent them from being business majors.
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: An East Coast Elitist
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
