Archive for the ‘Poop’ Category

Wait– What Exactly Are You Using As a Volleyball?

Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.

Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan

Overheard by: Scott

Before Harry Hole Joined the Police Force

Sheepish-looking PhD student coming out of washroom: Oh yes! I wasn't taking a shower with a glass of chardonnay! By “wasn't” I mean “was”, by “taking a shower” I mean “taking a dump”, and by “glass” I mean “bottle”. (long pause, looking down the hall) I was taking a dump with a bottle of chardonnay!

University of Northern Norway
Norway

The Magic Night Cletus Met Brandine

Male redneck: You can come over, but you can't be shittin' in my bathroom.
(female redneck is silent)
Male redneck: Seriously… I like you and all, but I don't know you good enough for you to be stankin' up my bathroom.
(they leave together)

Project Lounge
Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: these are the people who get to have sex?