Archive for the ‘Poop’ Category

In the Hamp­tons, That’s a Mar­riage Pro­pos­al

Guy from in­side Port-A-Pot­ty: Oh, shit, I just dropped my Black­Ber­ry in there!
Friend: Oh, man, what are you gonna do?!
Guy: Well, some­body’s got to stick their hand in there!
Dude wait­ing in line: I think I’ll use the oth­er one. I don’t want to be the first per­son to piss on your Black­Ber­ry.

Rock the Farm Ben­e­fit
East Hamp­ton, New York

Wait– What Ex­act­ly Are You Us­ing As a Vol­ley­ball?

Mom to three-year-old son un­der the ta­ble: Whatcha’ doin’ un­der there, bud­dy?
Three-year-old son: Play­ing vol­ley­ball.
Dad: Vol­ley­ball? Smells like you’re poop­ing your pants.
Three-year-old son, gig­gling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sis­ter to friend: See, I told you it was­n’t the food.

Los Tres Ami­gos Mex­i­can Restau­rant
Michi­gan

Over­heard by: Scott

Be­fore Har­ry Hole Joined the Po­lice Force

Sheep­ish-look­ing PhD stu­dent com­ing out of wash­room: Oh yes! I was­n’t tak­ing a show­er with a glass of chardon­nay! By “was­n’t” I mean “was”, by “tak­ing a show­er” I mean “tak­ing a dump”, and by “glass” I mean “bot­tle”. (long pause, look­ing down the hall) I was tak­ing a dump with a bot­tle of chardon­nay!

Uni­ver­si­ty of North­ern Nor­way
Nor­way