Archive for the ‘Poop’ Category

Um, That’s You

Intercom: The moving walkway is ending.
Little boy: The moving walkway is pooping! Haha! Pooping!

Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: morgz

Have You Learned So Little from The Sweetest Thing?

Teen girl in bathroom #1: I’d hate to be a guy and have to use a urinal.
Teen girl in bathroom #2: Oh yeah, that thing looks unsanitary.
Teen girl in bathroom #1: Not even that, but like if you had to go poop then everyone would know it.
Teen girl in bathroom #3: You can’t poop in a urinal?

High School
Coral Springs, Florida

Before Harry Hole Joined the Police Force

Sheepish-looking PhD student coming out of washroom: Oh yes! I wasn’t taking a shower with a glass of chardonnay! By “wasn’t” I mean “was”, by “taking a shower” I mean “taking a dump”, and by “glass” I mean “bottle”. (long pause, looking down the hall) I was taking a dump with a bottle of chardonnay!

University of Northern Norway
Norway

And Why’s Her Brother Waving Happily from the Pool?

Drunk girl: Hey. Hey! Everyone be quiet for a second — I want to make a toast. I just want to remind everyone why we’re here, and that’s because my brother finally shit successfully.
Drunk guy: What the fuck did she just say?

House party
Holbrook, New York

Overheard by: pc