Archive for the ‘Poop’ Category

There Are Entire Websites Devoted to That Sort Of Thing, Sweetie.

Three-year-old daughter, pointing at huge woman: Dada, she has a big booty.
Father: Sweetie, you don't want to talk about other people's booties.
Three-year-old daughter: But dada, she couldn't sit on our toilet. It is too small for her.
Father: Okay. (hurriedly moves out of the aisle)
Three-year-old daughter: Her booty is too big for pee and poop to come out. She makes a big mess and gets it all over! (father starts pushing faster)

Supermarket
Quincy, Massachusetts

My Dad Wants to See Me ASAP

30-something druggie girl: I know my dad's looking down at me, helping me and shit. That's how I got my handbag back.
30-something druggie guy: Yeah? For fuckin serious?
30-something druggie girl: Yeah! I feel like he's telling me shit sometimes. Sometimes I reckon he wants me to stop taking the pills and the smack, but then I'm like, “Nah, that's just the drugs talking.”

Train
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: XPIOTOS