Archive for the ‘Preggers’ Category

Or an Abor­tion

Preg­nant black la­dy on cell buy­ing 24-pack of beer at self-check­out: Girl, next time I have me a ba­by dad­dy I’­ma get me a cred­it re­port!

South­field, Michi­gan

A Mo­tor­boat­ing Purist

Preg­gers: My baby’s get­tin’ the bot­tle. Ain’t no ba­by suckin’ on these tit­ties — that ain’t what they’re for…

Hamil­ton, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Um, that IS what they’re for

What Do You Think the Midget with the But­ter­fly Net Is For?

Loud, ob­nox­ious, preg­nant girl in a skirt: I’m not wear­ing any un­der­wear.
Friend, sar­cas­ti­cal­ly: Aren’t you afraid your baby’s go­ing to fall out or some­thing?

Over­heard by: what not to ex­pect when you’re ex­pect­ing

Roger Of­ten Won­ders If He Made the Right Choice Go­ing Straight

Preg­gers snap­ping at hub­by: He said they don’t have it! That means they don’t have it!
Hus­band, push­ing cart with two-year-old in seat: Get over your­self, babe. We’ll be in the car.
Two-year-old: Ma­ma!
Hus­band, un­der his breath: Your mom bet­ter hur­ry up and have that kid, dude.

Fred Mey­er
Is­saquah, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Bryan

You’re Not Still Preg­nant?

En­thu­si­as­tic la­dy: Oh, you must be hav­ing a boy!
Very preg­gers: Uh, no… It’s ac­tu­al­ly a girl.
En­thu­si­as­tic la­dy: Re­al­ly? Be­cause your face has changed!
Very preg­gers: What do you mean?
En­thu­si­as­tic la­dy: Oh, you know, it just looks bad. I was ug­ly, too, when I was preg­nant with my son.

Clin­ic wait­ing room
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia