TA on cell: No, I do not want to play “guess who’s pregnant?” again.
University of Florida
Overheard by: nick
Archive for the ‘Pregnancy’ Category
God Bless the USA!
English professor: “My wife, Bob, is pregnant.” Polygamy, pregnant men, gay marriage–it’s got it all!
University of Rock County
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Aku
Doughnuts, at Least, Are Cheaper by the Dozen
Mother to daughter: And soon you’ll be having babies…
Daughter’s friend: I want a baby.
Daughter: What?!
Friend: Actually I want a doughnut, but no one was listening to me.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: and i want a pony
…But Before I Start to Spoil
16-year-old girl #1: I wanna wait to have kids, you know? But I don’t wanna be old or anything. I think like 19 or somethin.
16-year-old girl #2: Yeah. Oscar wants to knock me up and I’m like “no bitch, I don’t even have a license yet.” We’re thinking after I turn 18.
Los Angeles, California
Snow White Is Always Hurting the Dwarves’ Feelings
Girl: Oh, as far as I’m concerned, they’re just the happy little worker bees that bring me my birth control.
Madison, Wisconsin
…With a Bastard Vampire Baby
Mom to daughter in Team Edward t‑shirt: If you were taking your pill in the first place, you wouldn’t be pregnant right now.
New Hampshire
Overheard by: let me kick her in the stomach
I Gotta Learn How to Pregame
Girl #1: I came really fast, apparently.
Girl #2: Wow, really?
Girl #1: Yeah. (sighs) If only we weren’t talking about childbirth.
Auckland
New Zealand
Why Undocumented Immigrant Surrogates Exist
Sloppily-dressed teen girl to another: Do you know how many new outfits I would have to buy to carry a baby around for nine months?
Sam Houston State University
Huntsville, Texas
When, Really, They Go Together Like a Wink and Smile
Loud 40-something: The government wants to cut down on unplanned pregnancy and decrease abortions, but a dozen condoms is as much as a 12-pack of beer? Hello, middle America is not choosing condoms over beer!
Burlington, Vermont
But That’s Universal Health Care for You
Big burly man, earnestly: So then he said, “my wife is in labor,” but I didn’t exactly know what that meant.
English man, in disbelief: What? What did you think it meant?
Big burly man: I dunno… Um, like, just pregnant?
English man: So what did you say?
Big burly man: I just said, “yeah, that sucks for you.“
English man: Wow, he must have thought you were a real asshole.
Big burly man: Haha, yeah. And then she had the baby in the apartment.
(long pause)
Big burly man: So, anyway, now the building’s hot water’s not working.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
