Black guy to friends: I swear, every time I start talking to a girl she gets pregnant. (pause) Fo’ real.
Bowling Green, Kentucky
Overheard by: You must have been doing more than talking
Archive for the ‘Pregnancy’ Category
We Don’t Quite Get It, But We Like It
Girl standing in front of a pro-life poster: Well, if that’s true I owe god a lot of child support.
Colorado
My Partner, Paul, Is As Dumbfounded As I Am
Disgruntled dad-to-be: I wish I could sue the urologist, but it is what it is. So now I’m having a son. Whatever.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Glad he’s not my Dad
But I’m Not Sure the Koala Enjoys It
Male student #1: Man, you can’t get pregnant doing that.
Male student #2: Oh.
Monash University
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Assilem
But, for the Record, I Adore David Spade
Girl #1: She’s pregnant? I thought she was on birth control?
Girl #2: She still is.
Girl #1: Isn’t that bad for the baby?
Girl #2: Not really, all that will happen is if it’s a boy, it will start looking more like a girl…
Girl #1: That’s messed up.
Bathroom Stall, Nutty Irishman Bar
Farmingdale, New York
Overheard by: Jennifer
Someone’s Always in the Kitchen With Dinah
TA on cell: No, I do not want to play “guess who’s pregnant?” again.
University of Florida
Overheard by: nick
God Bless the USA!
English professor: “My wife, Bob, is pregnant.” Polygamy, pregnant men, gay marriage–it’s got it all!
University of Rock County
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Aku
Doughnuts, at Least, Are Cheaper by the Dozen
Mother to daughter: And soon you’ll be having babies…
Daughter’s friend: I want a baby.
Daughter: What?!
Friend: Actually I want a doughnut, but no one was listening to me.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: and i want a pony
…But Before I Start to Spoil
16-year-old girl #1: I wanna wait to have kids, you know? But I don’t wanna be old or anything. I think like 19 or somethin.
16-year-old girl #2: Yeah. Oscar wants to knock me up and I’m like “no bitch, I don’t even have a license yet.” We’re thinking after I turn 18.
Los Angeles, California
Snow White Is Always Hurting the Dwarves’ Feelings
Girl: Oh, as far as I’m concerned, they’re just the happy little worker bees that bring me my birth control.
Madison, Wisconsin
