Their Baby Was Born in a Booth at Popeye’s

Guy #1: Hey bro, your woman fat?
Guy #2: No. Fuck, man! What you talkin’? She my baby momma, that the baby in her bump!
Guy #3: You sure? She sure look fat to me.

Coralridge Mall
Iowa City, Iowa

So I’m Just Going to Assume It’s Jesse Jackson

Lady #1: … And I don’t even know who the daddy is!
Lady #2: That’s hilarious!

B. Dalton — College Square Mall
Cedar Falls, Iowa

Overheard by: Darcy

If It Could Happen to Lance Armstrong, It Could Happen to Anybody!

Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!

Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: monkey

Some Peer Counselors’ Life Lessons Are Better Than Others

Dude #1: Dude, if you’re gonna artificially inseminate your sister’s girlfriend, you gotta fuck her, right?
Dude #2: Absolutely!
Dude #1: Otherwise, you got no respect for yourself.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/07/sperm-bank.html

Overheard by: elizabeth

Um, Sweetie, We’re Lesbians

Girl #1: I’ve been feeling so weird lately.
Girl #2: You’re probably pregnant.
Girl #1: … What?
Girl #2: I was kidding.
Girl #1: Oh-fuck-oh-fuck-oh-fuck — when was my last period?!

Piccadilly Line
London
England

Overheard by: BoogyFantastic

I Eat It Before Those Orgies with the Football Team

College girl #1: Eating raw fish makes you super fertile.
College girl #2: Really?
College girl #1: Yeah, thats why I get pregnant so much.

Japanese Restaurant
Richmond, Virginia

Or That She’s My Girlfriend

Man: My girlfriend doesn’t know it yet, but I’m going to get her pregnant.

Ottawa, Canadia

Overheard by: amanda

Um, That’s Just Beer, Sweetie.

Boy, screaming into pregnant mother’s belly: We’re going to give you up for adoption!

Tanger Outlet
Riverhead, New York

Overheard by: bemused

Extra Chunky

20-something girl: So I had to go to the emergency room because I thought I had a baby.
Shocked co-worker: What?! What was it?
20-something girl: Just my period. But it was a bad one.

Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: don’t ditch health class

Especially If I’m Saying, “Faster…Harder…God…Ohhh”

Black guy to friends: I swear, every time I start talking to a girl she gets pregnant. (pause) Fo’ real.

Bowling Green, Kentucky

Overheard by: You must have been doing more than talking