Archive for the ‘Pride’ Category

You Might As Well Face It, You’re Ad­dict­ed to Lumps

Very preg­nant woman sur­round­ed by mis­be­hav­ing chil­dren: Preg­nan­cy is just such a gift. I mean, I feel so blessed. Like, this is what my body was made for, you know? I just feel so much more com­plete when I’m preg­nant. Know­ing that I’m grow­ing this life…
Young woman be­hind her in line, in­ter­rupt­ing: Madam? You are a walk­ing ad­ver­tise­ment for manda­to­ry birth con­trol.

Star­bucks
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: The guy ap­plaud­ing her

You Haven’t Lived ‘Til You’ve Seen Me Ap­plaud with Them.

Cute girl: I have great tits!
Gay friend, skep­ti­cal­ly: I guess they’re nice…
Cute girl: No, re­al­ly. Each of my last four boyfriends or longish-term hookup bud­dies were ass-men when they met me, and by the time we split, they’d each been con­vert­ed to boob-men.
Gay friend, still skep­ti­cal: That may just mean your ass is­n’t great.
Cute girl: Damn, you’re so cup-half-emp­ty. My ass is great. My tits are just phe­nom­e­nal.

Man­hat­tan, New York