Flight attendant (on PA): Chances are they're all middle seats. Find the one with the most attractive people, and take it.
Southwest Flight over California
Overheard by: Armen
Archive for the ‘Public transportation’ Category
In Fact, He's Delicious
Captain on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, just wanted to let you know the reason this flight was delayed. The plane collided with a bird upon landing. It's no big deal; it just hit a body part. The bird is okay.
Airport
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle (who is skeptical about the well-being of the bird)
A Mom Can Dream, Can’t She?
Angry mother on the bus: Come here and sit down!
Four-year-old: No, it’s okay. I’m being good.
Angry mother: This bus is going to stop suddenly and you’re going to fall down and crack your head open on one of the bars, and before the bus gets back around to the hospital you will bleed to death!
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: jeff
That's Where the Naked Twister Game Is Taking Place
Teen boy #1: Haha, you have to be in the back of the bus.
Teen boy #2: Is that a race thing?
Teen boy #1: No, its a sexual thing.
Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sara
This Is Quite an Impressive Resume
Woman on phone: Man, you know what open flesh smells like!
BART Station
Pittsburg, California
Overheard by: Hannah
We Better Have to Swim Through Her Blood When We Disembark
Metro announcement: The Red Line is experiencing delays due to a sick customer at Farragut North… Trains will share tracks at Gallery Place and Metro Center.
Man on metro: How sick was this customer?
Woman on metro: She better be dead, I'll tell you that.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: jposkin
I Got High Enough to Develop Altitude Sickness
Hipster chick #1: Yeah, we did opium last night.
Hipster chick #2: How was that?
Hipster chick #1: I vomited until my ears popped.
Hipster chick #2: Awesome!
Blue Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Eve
When One Partner Wants to Have “The Talk,” It Just Fucking Happens
Man on cell on train: No, I told you nothing's wrong, I'm just tired. (very long pause) No, nothing's wrong. We don't need to have a talk. (long pause) No, I told you, nothing's wrong. I'm on the train. (very long pause, then annoyed) Do you want to make that pasta tonight? That sounds like fun.
Chicago, Illinois
She Escaped from the Closet and Alerted Red Riding Hood
Fat suit on cell: Damn that grandma!
Russell Square Station
London
England
Not Exactly…
BU student #1, looking at his CharlieCard: Dude, I have never seen this guy anywhere in Boston. Where do you think he is?
BU student #2, also looking at his CharlieCard: Dude, I don't know.
BU student #1: Maybe he died.
BU student #3: Yeah, because he was sticking his fucking head out of the fucking train window while the train was in motion.
Boston, Massachusetts