Archive for the ‘Public transportation’ Category

Why Some Kids Wet the Bed

Mother to five-year-old: Keep moving, we don’t want to be in the first car. If the train crashes, we’d be done for.

Metro North Railroad
New York City, New York

Overheard by: BOB Sled

Now Kindly Fasten Your Seat Belts in Case the Doors Fly Off

Stewardess: Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen. The first two planes we tried didn’t work, so this is the third one and we made it here okay…so, so far, so good!

Airport Runway
Cabo San Lucas
Mexico

…in Exchange for Cooking Lessons

Conductor: This train will terminate at Stratford. The next station is Waterloo. Please change here for the Bakerloo, Northern and Waterloo & City lines. Alternatively you can also change for Waterloo International, catch the next Eurostar, go to Paris and show the French how to play rugby.

London
England

Overheard by: kat

And Be Sure to Return Your Seat Backs to the Awkward Position

Stewardess: Wave hi to my ex-husband and his new wife as they pass by.

Southwest Airlines Flight
Houston to New Orleans

Overheard by: Passenger A 44

He Would’ve Assumed You Could Read

Train conductor, to teenage girl with feet on chair: Can you read? (points to sign)
Teenage girl: What…? Oh, sorry. (takes her feet down, conductor walks away)
Suit: He would have never done that if you were a guy.

New Jersey Transit

Jesus Was to Vex Mary His Entire Life

Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there’s people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I’m Thinking It’s the First Clue in My Quest for the Holy Grail

Male student: So there was a hobo on the train and he sat next to me and he was like, “me no wah”. So I was like, “what?” and he just said “me no wah!” so I was really confused and then I realized I had my backpack, so I gave him a pen and a paper and he wrote “m‑e n‑o w‑a-h.” So I was really mad and was like, “dude, that was supposed to clear things up,” but it didn’t.
Female student: Word.

University of Michigan, Ann Arbor

Overheard by: Kelli

In Fact, He’s Delicious

Captain on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, just wanted to let you know the reason this flight was delayed. The plane collided with a bird upon landing. It’s no big deal; it just hit a body part. The bird is okay.

Airport
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ladle (who is skeptical about the well-being of the bird)