Archive for the ‘Public transportation’ Category

Trans­la­tion: “Wel­come to New York, Mutha­fuck­aaaas.”

MTA work­er to tourist mom buy­ing tick­ets with daugh­ter: 10 dol­lars.
Mom: Oh, but she’s a stu­dent.
Work­er, look­ing at daugh­ter: Oh! How nice for you! (looks back at mom) Ten dol­lars please.

Sub­way Sta­tion
New York City, New York

Over­heard by: Glad thats not my cheap-ass mom

Every­one Feels Like This When They See Tom Cruise

Girl #1: Shit!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: I for­got to ask him if he’s gay!
Girl #2: But you don’t even know him!
Girl #1: I know, and now I’ve lost my chance…I’ll won­der for the rest of my life if he was gay or not. And maybe one day, when I’m old and gray, I’ll see him, at a bus-stop maybe, and then I’ll try to ask him…and he’ll be al­ready on the bus, and I’ll nev­er know.
Girl #2: You’re kind of a freak.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Delaware

Re­quiem for a Dream? Re­al­ly?

Pas­sen­ger to at­ten­dant: Ex­cuse me? They turned the movie off.
At­ten­dant: Yes, we’re land­ing ear­li­er than thought.
Pas­sen­ger: Oh, but the movie was­n’t over.
At­ten­dant: Sor­ry about that, but we need to turn it off for de­scent.
Pas­sen­ger: But I was watch­ing it!
At­ten­dant: I am very sor­ry, but since we have start­ed our de­scent…
Pas­sen­ger, in­ter­rupt­ing: But now I don’t know how it ends!
At­ten­dant: They all lived hap­pi­ly ever af­ter.

Qan­tas Flight to Mel­bourne
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Seat 14 F

We’ll Be De­part­ing Just As Soon As These Pills Wear Off

Pi­lot over loud­speak­er (riff­ing on har­mon­i­ca): This is your cap­tain speak­ing, (har­mon­i­ca riff) Wel­come aboard, (har­mon­i­ca riff) Please fas­ten your seat belts. (har­mon­i­ca riff) Or we won’t be able to leave beau­ti­ful At­lanta, Geor­gia.
(does long, jazzy har­mon­i­ca riff. Pas­sen­gers ap­plaud)
Pi­lot (in Elvis voice): Thank you very much.

Amer­i­can Air­lines Flight
At­lanta, Geor­gia