Overheard Everywhere

Archive for the ‘Public transportation’ Category

No­body Can Do Sex­u­al Ha­rass­ment Like the In­sane

Crazy bag la­dy, loud­ly: I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to an­oth­er pas­sen­ger on the sub­way)
Crazy bag la­dy, now in pas­sen­ger’s face: I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(fe­male pas­sen­ger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag la­dy: Why you jump­ing? Why you jump­ing, bitch!? You weren’t jumpin’ last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Fe­male pas­sen­ger: Ex­cuse me, ma’am, don’t say that to me! You don’t know me!
(sub­way train stops)
Con­duc­tor: City Hall sta­tion!
Fe­male pas­sen­ger: Ex­cuse me, sir, there’s a crazy la­dy on the sub­way ha­rass­ing the oth­er pas­sen­gers.
Con­duc­tor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(fe­male pas­sen­ger points to crazy woman yelling)
Con­duc­tor: Ma’am, are you both­er­ing peo­ple?
Crazy bag la­dy: Why you tryin’ to fuck me stand­ing up!? Why don’t you fuck me ly­ing down like a gen­tle­man!
Con­duc­tor: Ma’am, I’m call­ing the po­lice.

Broad Street Line Sub­way
Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

But Here’s a Coupon for a Com­pli­men­ta­ry Cav­i­ty Search

Irate moth­er: No, you don’t un­der­stand. I need to board that plane now!
Stew­ardess at gate: Ma’m, you can­not board now. There is no air­plane at the end of the jet­way. Look–no plane out there.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/473032304/i‑bet-a-lot-of-people-dont-understand-that-woman.html

Over­heard by: de­layed flights al­ways make me ir­ra­tional too

Trans­la­tion: “Wel­come to New York, Mutha­fuck­aaaas.”

MTA work­er to tourist mom buy­ing tick­ets with daugh­ter: 10 dol­lars.
Mom: Oh, but she’s a stu­dent.
Work­er, look­ing at daugh­ter: Oh! How nice for you! (looks back at mom) Ten dol­lars please.

Sub­way Sta­tion
New York City, New York

Over­heard by: Glad thats not my cheap-ass mom

Every­one Feels Like This When They See Tom Cruise

Girl #1: Shit!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: I for­got to ask him if he’s gay!
Girl #2: But you don’t even know him!
Girl #1: I know, and now I’ve lost my chance…I’ll won­der for the rest of my life if he was gay or not. And maybe one day, when I’m old and gray, I’ll see him, at a bus-stop maybe, and then I’ll try to ask him…and he’ll be al­ready on the bus, and I’ll nev­er know.
Girl #2: You’re kind of a freak.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Delaware