Archive for the ‘Punks’ Category

Why Light­bulb-Shaped Buttplugs Ex­ist.

Punk girl: A lamp?
Punk guy: While it was still on.
Punk girl: Did­n’t that like…burn the colon?
Punk guy: Ap­par­ent­ly it was­n’t on at first. Some­one de­cid­ed to plug it in as a joke.
Punk girl, gig­gling: Oh my god…what hap­pened with that?
Punk guy: I don’t know–all I know is that it in­volved the hos­pi­tal.

Cal­i­for­nia

Who Will Punch Me in the Ovaries Re­gard­less.

Drunk punk girl #1: Oh my god! Is that a rac­coon? I think it’s star­ing at me!
Drunk punk girl #2: That’s a fuckin shirt, you re­tard.
Drunk punk girl #1: Well, if it bites me, I’m punch­ing you in the ovaries!
Drunk punk girl #2, mut­ter­ing: I need new friends.

Out­side Bar
Ni­a­gara Falls, New York

Sex, Death…

Punk chick #1: Well, it’s just… I’m con­fused…
Punk chick #2: It’s okay, it’s sum­mer! There are a lot of con­fus­ing things in the air, like love… and pollen.

Mary­land