Mom: I don’t wanna be finding knives in the lawn anymore!
20-year-old son: Where’s my sword?
San Diego, California
Overheard by: tab
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
Let’s Just Say She’s in Shape
Dude: You have a sister, right?
Chick: Yeah.
Dude: Is she hot?
Chick: She’s 12 and shaped like a rectangle.
Dude: That doesn’t answer my question.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
No! Haven’t You Been Listening?
Lady 1: So they’re getting married now.
Lady 2: But I thought she had a baby.
Lady 1: Yes, but it’s his brother’s. See, her sister wanted to be with him so she told him her sister couldn’t have normal children. It turns out she’s the one who can’t have children.
Lady 2: Oh… so they’re getting married?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Confused listener
Eh, Christians Say Yes; Jews Say Hell, No
Blonde student to teacher: Is the New Testament in the Torah?
Edmonton
Canadia
That’s What I Got You Last Year
Drunk male friend: What do you want for your birthday, baby? I can make it happen, just tell me what you want!
Really, really drunk birthday girl, pointing at someone else: I want in that guy’s pants!
Norfolk, Virginia
Playing Chess? Really?
Girl on cell: Wait, how exactly did you manage to pull your ass muscle?
http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/04/do-they-offer-class-on-that.html
Overheard by:
And They Were Like, “Now We Can All Poke Without Passing Around Chlamydia!”
Girl: My friends are always saying I need to make a Facebook page and I’m like, “Why? I talk to you a‑holes enough already!”
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/416332366/so-you-can-send-me-gifts-you-spent-a-dollar-on.html
Overheard by: sleeping on the job
Still, Nobody Better Lay a Finger on My Buttfingerer
Teenage girl to friend: And then he stuck his finger up my butt, and said “Oh, yeah, do you like that, babe?“
Friend: See, there you go. If you don’t sit a guy down and tell him not to go up your butt, he will. Look at you, you’re butt-fingered.
Subway Store
Maitland
Australia
Africans: Wow, They’re Fat Monsters and Stupid
Brunette: I wish I could speak those sweet African languages.
Blonde: What sweet African languages?
Brunette: Ya know, the ones where they cluck at each other. Cluck cluck clickity clack cluck.
Blonde: Yeah! I know what you mean. Clack clack cluck cluck click cluck clacky clack. (laughs)
Brunette, laughing: I bet they just make stuff up!
Blonde: Yeah, dude! Clack clack clickity clacky clack clack cluck! AKA, wanna go get some cow…meat?
Brunette, laughing: You’re retarded. I don’t think anyone in Africa says shit like that.
Michigan
Don’t Make Me Do Date Math, Tricia
18-year-old girl to 20-year-old girl: The Declaration of Independence looks really old and faded. How old is it?
National Archives
Washington, DC
