Tipsy guy to girl beside him: What are you doing later?
Girl: Going home to Scotchgard my bathrobe.
Duke & Duchess Bar
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Cooper Street Relic
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
Well You’re the One Who Said The Cheetah Club Was Out!
Girlfriend: No, tell me, I do wanna know where you want our wedding!
Boyfriend: Funplex.
Girlfriend: You want our wedding at Funplex?
Passerby: Oh, shit!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Walking by
Someone’s Always in the Kitchen With Dinah
TA on cell: No, I do not want to play “guess who’s pregnant?” again.
University of Florida
Overheard by: nick
Straight Men: Dammit, You Guys Ruin Everything!
Gay sports fan to table of gay sports fans, while watching Packers game: So, are you a packer or a packee?
Washington, DC
Build Him a Sukkah?
Loudmouthed breakfast patron: I’m not trying to be rude or anything, but what if you keep kosher and someone, like, brings a pig to your house? Like, what do you do with their pet pig?
Toast Two
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Paul
As You Should Know All Too Well, Cuntrella
Teacher: Does anyone know how to spell that?
(silence)
Student: Looks like it’s time to whip out the dic!
Teacher: Some words should *not* be shortened.
High School Classroom
Rhode Island
So That’s What the Propeller Beanie Is About
Rowdy child in shopping cart: Mom! What’s that?
Tired mom: Spam.
Rowdy child: Mom! Can we get it? Can we get it, mom? Mom? Can we? Mom!
Tired mom: No.
(rowdy child starts freaking out)
Tired mom: Okay! Fine, but will you eat it?
Rowdy child: Nope…I just like attention.
Sobey’s
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: aleXis
And Together, Our Geekiness Is Unstoppable
20-something girl: If anyone ever punches me, all of the turtles in western Pennsylvania will get together, form a giant stack, and bite that person.
20-something guy: Wow. Like Voltron?
20-something girl: Why did I marry you?
20-something guy: *Because* I say things like that.
20-something girl (sighing): Yeah, you’re right.
Walnut St
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
When Life Gives You Avocados…
Checker, as customer places avocados on the belt: Are these lemons?
Grocery Store
Centerville, Utah
Overheard by: JC
Only with Two More X’s
Little girl: Mom, what’s a prostitute?
Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.
Little girl: Extreme cuddling X Games?!
Denver, Colorado
