Young bearded hipster to college girl: They keep telling me anal bleaching is the way to go, but do girls really notice that stuff?
Manhattan, New York
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
There’s a Lot of Smoke around Me, but No Fire
Thug filling out employment application: Hey, when you say, ‘Have you ever been convicted of a felony?’ do you mean found guilty, or just sort of accused and arrested?
Wendy’s
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: maybe he shouldn’t use the plastic silverware…
90% of the Time, Your Kids Won’t Even Appreciate Your Brilliance
Small child, pointing to an “eat pussy” graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It’s a menu.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Chikara
Might Even Trump the Popularity of Pregnant or Fat?
Black guy: You keep hearing about how racist Britain’s getting, it’s pretty scary.
White girlfriend: Oh, totally. I think that before anyone in that country over 40 is allowed to make a public statement they should take a test that’s like “is this quaint, or just racist?” and if they fail they shouldn’t be allowed to say anything.
Black guy: That would be an awesome game show.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Their Baby Was Born in a Booth at Popeye’s
Guy #1: Hey bro, your woman fat?
Guy #2: No. Fuck, man! What you talkin’? She my baby momma, that the baby in her bump!
Guy #3: You sure? She sure look fat to me.
Coralridge Mall
Iowa City, Iowa
It’s an Excellent Movie, Excellent Movie
Boy: Have you seen Rainman?
Friend: Nah.
Boy: Ohmigod, I can’t believe you haven’t seen Rainman! I mean I haven’t seen Rainmanbut I can’t believe you haven’t seen Rainman!
Newcastle-Sydney Train
Australia
Tonight, on No-Context Theatre…
Guy #1: So, where can we get another guy like Brian to drink a lot of water?
Guy #2: Well, Phyllis is out of work.
Guy #1: Who’s Phyllis?
Guy #2: She’s this really good PR girl. Like a rotten tomato.
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sunny
Only Because They Found the Kiddie Pool Filled with It
Girl to boyfriend: Why’d you go and tell all the guys on the fifth floor that I have some crazy fetish with lubricating foods?
Guy: I didn’t say anything!
Girl: Well, they were talking about the Nutella.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Laura G.
Think Of It As a Cheap Facelift!
Old woman in roller coaster line: Does this one go upside down? I don’t like it when they do upside down.
Little boy: You’ll be fine, grandma. Come on!
Universal Studios
Florida
Getting a Piece Of Tail Is Always a Problem in Ohio
Woman to man: She fucked the lobster?
Cincinnati, Ohio
