Girl #1: I have to gloat a little. Who’s the perv now, bitches?
Girl #2: Still us.
Girl #1: Well, duh, still us. But now them, too!
Girl #2: Totally.
Maynard, Massachusetts
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
And You Know the Company Bylaws
Male Wal-Mart employee to female coworker: Come on, what’s your problem? (smiles at her)
Female coworker: I can’t smile. I work here.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/350891654/i‑can-relate.html
Overheard by: A. Lil
Tell Their Pimp What You’re Into, and Find Out.
Guy in jumper: What do hermit crabs actually do?
Pet Shop
Australia
Overheard by: Stunned
In the Glass Box That Says “Break in Case Of Emergency”
Guy, walking into Planned Parenthood: Hey, I just locked my keys in my car that’s just around the corner. Can I borrow a coat hanger?
Girl working front desk: Uh, do you know where you are?
Guy: No.
Girl working front desk: Well, we keep ’em in the back!
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Morgan Roddy
Necessity Is the Mother of Water-Bottle Bongs
Leader of group of nervous teens: Hey, do you sell rolling papers here… for tobacco?
Convenience store clerk: Sorry, man. We’ve only got ones for pot.
Noland Road
Independence, Missouri
Overheard by: snickering customer behind them
We Had No Idea What They Were, Either.
Short girl: So, what do you do with the pen cap condoms?
Much taller girl: Okay, you take them…and you throw them out.
Short girl: You don’t like…reuse them or something?
Much taller girl, smiling: Do you reuse normal condoms?
(short girl laughs)
Much taller girl, seriously: Don’t just wash those and reuse them.
Onteora HS
Boiceville, New York
Overheard by: Toasted
Because I Really Need to Work on My Reverse-Cowgirl
Girl on cell: So I learned over the weekend that my parents are swingers. I know, it was so weird! It’s like, okay, so on the weekends you go out and have sex with other people… Yeah… Do we have practice today?
College of Saint Benedict
St. Joseph, Minnesota
Overheard by: Rose
And I Still Haven’t Called Myself
Girl #1: Does transvestism work both ways?
Girl #2: It should. I’ve dressed up as a man before and I looked damn hot. My tits are small enough you can’t even tell!
University of New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Nac
Poof! Like an Astronaut Landing on Moondust.
Guy to pals: Did you ever put baby powder on your butt and then fart?
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: how are these people my friends?
…When We Run Out Of Saran Wrap.
Roommate #1: Do you want to go clothes shopping for spring break?
Roommate #2, making disgusted face: I don’t wear clothes on spring break.
Roommate #1: (long pause)
Roommate #2: I just wear a bathing suit.
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
Overheard by: Roommate #3
