Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it's purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
Case in Point
Student: Well, sometimes you ask questions that have answers that might not be the answer you are looking for!
Professor: Are you calling me fat?
Michigan State University, Michigan
But All You Really Need Is Some Concealer and a Dream
Girl #1: So when is that thing you guys are doing?
Girl #2: Oh my god! You have to go! We're all going to get naked and walk around campus all day.
Girl #1: I honestly would, but I have tattoos in some really unconventional places.
Girl #2: Oh, I understand totally.
Chem Lab, William and Mary
Williamsburg, Virginia
We're Not Too Proud to Admit That We Snickered
Granddaughter: Is it wet?
Grandmother: Oh, believe me. It's wet.
Waco, Texas
Overheard by: I need to get whatever they're using.
Why Laguna Beach Got Canceled
Girl: I told him I didn't dance, because I didn't want to dance with him, but all these other guys asked me if I wanted to dance and I had to say no because I told him I didn't dance, but I really wanted to dance. So we have to go, so that I can dance.
Friend: So, did you dance with him?
Pasadena, California
Overheard by: needs new friends
I Didn’t Know They Made Thongs That Big
Male student: So, how’s your new roommate?
Female student: Well, she has one hundred thirty-three thongs.
Male student: She sounds like a horrible person.
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Thanks, Lifetime Movie Marathon!
Girl: Did you just get a vagina?
Boy: I think it's bleeding.
Vancouver
Canadia
I'm Glad You Recognize It As an Inevitability
Wife: Would you still love me if I peed my pants?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: Would you still love me if I shit my pants?
Husband: We'll cross that bridge when we get there.
Nashville, Tennessee
What Did I Say When You Asked That About Carrots?
Girl on cell: Are avocados vegetarian?
Saskatoon
Saskatchewan
Canadia
Every Time I Try That, I Lose Some Memory
Mom: Arrrrgh. My brain just isn’t working today!
Eight-year-old (deadpan): Did you try turning it off and on again?
Steveston
Canadia
Overheard by: laughing sangria out my nose