Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

But, for the Record, I Adore David Spade

Girl #1: She’s preg­nant? I thought she was on birth con­trol?
Girl #2: She still is.
Girl #1: Is­n’t that bad for the ba­by?
Girl #2: Not re­al­ly, all that will hap­pen is if it’s a boy, it will start look­ing more like a girl…
Girl #1: That’s messed up.

Bath­room Stall, Nut­ty Irish­man Bar
Farm­ing­dale, New York

Over­heard by: Jen­nifer

…That Woman Is Fi Fie Foe Fine!

Crew mem­ber to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are noth­ing. I mean, yeah, they can have their fem­i­nine touch­es, but if you want re­al weird, you need An­gela.
Friend: An­gela? She sounds nice!
Crew mem­ber: She’s head of se­cu­ri­ty. She’s two me­ters tall, and you need to take a step back be­fore you can iden­ti­fy her as a woman.
Friend: Sure­ly she’s not that ug­ly?
Crew mem­ber: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!

Gent Jazz fes­ti­val

In the Fu­ture, Re­frain from Writ­ing “Fuck All Bitch­es” in Your Es­says

So­ci­ol­o­gy pro­fes­sor: Did you ever lis­ten to some­thing the first time and like it, and then lat­er on you change your mind? Like a song you lis­ten to for the sec­ond time says “fuck all bitch­es” and you de­cide you don’t like it af­ter that?

Long Is­land Uni­ver­si­ty
New York

Over­heard by: Ash­ley M.

Game, Set, Match

Flat-chest­ed girl (grab­bing box of en­er­gy bars): Here, get some of these for to­mor­row.
Guy: I don’t know. Um… it says here that they’re for girls.
Flat-chest­ed girl: Yeah, let’s get them.
Guy: But… Huh, well, ha­ha, they’re not go­ing to make me grow tits, are they?
Flat-chest­ed girl, star­ing: Has­n’t worked for me.
Guy (putting box in car­riage): Hm-mmm.

Col­orado Springs, Col­orado

And Should I Be Buy­ing One Im­me­di­ate­ly?

Yale po­lo play­er #1: What are all those peo­ple do­ing on old cam­pus?
Yale po­lo play­er #2: Prob­a­bly “Soc­cer for Dar­fur” or some­thing. I hate fake ac­tivism like that.
Yale po­lo play­er #3: You mean “S’­mores for Dar­fur,” right?
Yale po­lo play­er #1: I keep hear­ing that word, “Dar­fur.” What does it even mean?

Over­heard by: Over­heard at Yale