Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

But She Did­n’t Use Their Blood As Paint This Time!

Sober girl: Look, all I’m say­ing is, I would­n’t fuck­ing mess with her. She’s clin­i­cal­ly in­sane.
Drunk girl: But you know, I think she’s re­al­ly smart. There are those peo­ple, you know, that are so smart they’re like ac­tu­al­ly crazy… Re­al men­tal, and we just think they’re weird, but they’re not! They have like, an IQ of 200!
Sober girl: You do re­al­ize that she drew pic­tures of her friends de­cap­i­tat­ed, right?

Welling­ton
New Zealand

Over­heard by: Were they talk­ing about the same per­son?

Fowl Be­hav­ior?

Woman: So, I want a small frozen turkey.
Meat guy: Okay, just right over here.
Woman: Ewww… What’s wrong with this one?
Meat guy: Sor­ry?
Woman: Well, is some­thing miss­ing?
Meat guy: Um… No.
Woman: Well, what is this “grain fed” busi­ness??
Meat guy: Oh, that means it’s fed with grains.
Woman: Oh! (picks up turkey and leaves)

Gro­cery Store
On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Matt C

…And That He Watch­es Ac­cord­ing to Jim??

Col­lege soros­ti­tute: Well, I thought we’d been dat­ing for, like, 3 months. But then I looked at his Face­book pro­file, and it said “sin­gle.“
Non-slut­ty col­lege friend: You had to use Face­book to…
Col­lege soros­ti­tute: Al­so, did you know he had a kid?

Charleston, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Nud­dles

It Was All, “What Am I, a Fuck­ing Cow?”

Red­neck girl: So do you wor­ship cows?
Hin­du boy: Yes, that’s part of our re­li­gion.
Red­neck girl: No, I mean you. Do you wor­ship cows?
Hin­du boy: Yes! I do, my peo­ple do, it’s our re­li­gion!
Red­neck girl: So when you go to church, there’s a cow there?
Hin­du boy: No, we don’t go to church.
Red­neck girl: Have you ever gone cow-tip­ping?
Hin­du boy: What’s that?
Red­neck girl: It’s when you run up to a cow in the mid­dle of the night and push it over and it goes “mooooooooo!” I tried to tip a horse once, too, but it just looked at me.

High School
North Car­oli­na