Dumb brunette #1: Well, he likes Sarah and Matt…
Dumb brunette #2: They don’t count, everyone likes them!
Dumb brunette #1: Well, my boyfriend doesn’t like any of my friends, then. I don’t really like any of my friends.
Smart, older blonde walking by: Well, dear, there’s a simple solution to that.
Dumb brunette #1: Oh? What is it?
University Library, Kent State
Kent, Ohio
Stewardess: Wave hi to my ex-husband and his new wife as they pass by.
Southwest Airlines Flight
Houston to New Orleans
Overheard by: Passenger A 44
Preteen girl #1, trying on cowboy hat: If I was a cowboy, would you be my friend?
Preteen girl #2: No.
Newburyport, Massachusetts
Girl: But I showered for you this morning!
Boyfriend: So you don’t want to go?
Girl: I didn’t say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morning, and now I’m just going to get dirty. You better pay my water bill, for all these showers you make me take.
Quiznos
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Believes in no-strings-attached hygene
Guy #1: Is your aunt gonna get a divorce?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: Niiiice.
Walton High School
Marietta, Georgia
Overheard by: nezu!
Girl in anthropology class: So… Islam says that men can marry four wives, but women can only marry one husband. Whatever.
Professor: Let’s try to maintain some cultural relativism!
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: nina
Short boy, yelling inches away from short girl’s face: We should hang out!
Short girl: (walks away silently)
Tall boy, laughing: Dude!
High School
Eugene, Oregon
Girl on cell: I said “I love you” like three years ago. Why? When was the last time you said it?
[pause]Girl on cell, shocked: Ew! To who, you whorebag?!
[pause]Girl on cell, incredulous: You say “I love you” to your mom?
200 Bus
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: likewhoa
(Mustang Sally is playing in background)
Guy: I dated a girl in high school who called herself Mustang Sally and me Cowboy Bill.
Girl: Is that the girl you kissed?
Guy: No, we just wrestled. She was weird. I was weird. It worked out…badly.
Video Store
Auckland
New Zealand
Teenage girl to friend: I feel like if you eat my hair, we’ll be more connected.
Fair Haven, New Jersey
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
