Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Trans­la­tion: Sex With You Is­n’t Worth the An­noy­ance Of Your Com­pa­ny

Emo chick: So then she glared at me. In a mean way, not a hap­py way.
Nor­mal look­ing boyfriend: I don’t think that word means what you think it means.
Emo chick: Huh?
Nor­mal look­ing boyfriend: You know, I just don’t think this is go­ing to work out.
Emo chick: Wait. You’re break­ing up with me? Here? Why?
Nor­mal look­ing boyfriend: Well, I was­n’t plan­ning on it, but hon­ey, you did­n’t like Watch­men and you’ve nev­er read or seen The Princess Bride. Clear­ly we’re just two very dif­fer­ent peo­ple.

Flagstaff, Ari­zona

Over­heard by: nayvera

The Episode Of MacGuyver I’d Pay to See

Weird la­dy get­ting her hair cut: The nail just would­n’t stay down on my toe. So be­cause it was all loose, junk kept get­ting in there. The doc­tor ba­si­cal­ly told me that junk would just keep get­ting in there.
Styl­ist: Wow!
(a minute lat­er)
Weird la­dy get­ting her hair cut: If I could have one of those guys do my wed­ding, I’d be all like, “here’s a doily and a pa­per cup, see what you can do.“
Styl­ist: Yeah.
Weird la­dy get­ting her hair cut: I mean if you can’t have a ban­gin wed­ding in Puer­to Ri­co, you might as well see what you can get from a doily and a pa­per cup here.
Styl­ist: Yeah.

Su­per­cuts
Penn­syl­va­nia

I’m Like, “Look at All These Dish­es– What’s Your Prob­lem?”

Drunk 40-year-old dude #1, stand­ing in line for the bath­room: Well, there are four sinks. We on­ly need two with the num­ber of peo­ple I’ve seen wash their hands.
Drunk 40-year-old dude #2: Yeah. There was this one time I was pee­ing in the sink at home, and my wife walked in. She was pissed. Good times.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/373685741/why-do-people-think-this-is-okay.html

Over­heard by: slight over­share