Girl #1: Happy Easter! I love you!
Girl #2: Happy Easter! (pause) This is funny… We’re both atheists.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Girl #1: Happy Easter! I love you!
Girl #2: Happy Easter! (pause) This is funny… We’re both atheists.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That’s Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn’t he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It’s a complicated story and we’ll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.
Mission Santa Barbara, California
College kid: Excuse me, what is the difference between these potato pancakes and a potato latka?
Grocery stocker: Um, I don’t know what a latka is, so I couldn’t tell you.
College kid: A Jewish potato pancake.
Grocery stocker: Well, those potato pancakes are German.
College kid: I wonder if a German Jew would eat them.
Sendik’s Grocery Store
Grafton, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Arthur
Teacher (about poetry assignment): Some of you did a good job and wrote some wonderful things. Some of you just did the assignment. Some of you haven’t even turned it in. Those people are going to hell.
TJHSST
Alexandria, Virginia
Girl in anthropology class: So… Islam says that men can marry four wives, but women can only marry one husband. Whatever.
Professor: Let’s try to maintain some cultural relativism!
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: nina
Boy #1: Dude, you know what the best time to get high would be? Right before temple.
Boy #2: No, dude, it’s Yom Kippur. You’ll be so hungry…
Private High School
New York, New York
Overheard by: so many things wrong with this
Woman: Shhhh, people are sleeping. Not everybody wants to hear about Mormon underpants.
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Hip daughter: Mom, is that the same guy?
Hip mom: No.
Hip daughter: Then why do they sound the exact same?
Hip mom: Because they’re Jewish.
Hip daughter: Really?
Hip mom: No.
Hip daughter (laughing): Oh my god! Mom! That’s…
Hip mom: Don’t quote me on Facebook.
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: robert taylor
Redneck girl: So do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes, that’s part of our religion.
Redneck girl: No, I mean you. Do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes! I do, my people do, it’s our religion!
Redneck girl: So when you go to church, there’s a cow there?
Hindu boy: No, we don’t go to church.
Redneck girl: Have you ever gone cow-tipping?
Hindu boy: What’s that?
Redneck girl: It’s when you run up to a cow in the middle of the night and push it over and it goes “mooooooooo!” I tried to tip a horse once, too, but it just looked at me.
High School
North Carolina
Guy #1: Dude, like my whole body hurts.
Guy #2: Well, I told you not to hang out with those girls.
Guy #1: Yeah, but I haven’t dated a religion major in a long time.
Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: dave
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist