Archive for the ‘Restaurants’ Category

You’d Rather Be Cheated on with Someone Ugly?

Hot girl: So when I finally met the girl he cheated on me with, I was in shock, because she was about a thousand times hotter than she looked on the picture I found.
Guy friend: Yeah. Well, some people are just not photogenic.
Hot girl: No, you don’t understand! She’s like supermodel hot, he had like no choice, even I would have fucked that Moroccan bitch right then and there.
Guy friend: That’s so hot.
Hot girl: Life is not fair.

Starbucks

…Learned That the Hard Way.

Girl: Oh my god, I love their deep-fried mac and cheese balls!
Boy: I got some fried mac and cheese balls for you.
Girl: Tommy, if you tried to dip your balls in a deep fryer, they would probably fall off.
Boy: No they wouldn’t.
Waiter, passing by quickly: Yes they would!

Cheesecake Factory
Kettering, Ohio

Chives Are the Respectable Republican Cloth Coat of Herbs

Customer: I’ll have a large hot chocolate, a chocolate glazed donut, and a plain bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese on the side.
Drive-thru grunt: What did you say for the cream cheese on the side?
Customer: Smoked salmon.
Drive-thru grunt: Oh, we don’t have that kind.
Customer: What kinds of cream cheese do you have?
Drive-thru grunt: We have chive. Chive is like smoked salmon.
Customer: Uh…yeah.

Bangor, Maine

Overheard by: just wanted a coffee