Guy: It’s not like he has one extra nipple… He has two.
Girl: He’s like a rat!
Starbucks
Hollywood, California
Archive for the ‘Restaurants’ Category
Drugging Miss Daisy
Old white lady, leaving table with a flourish: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom to shoot up.
Lemongrass
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Loves Her Some Thai Food
Typhoid Mary Was Also an Avid Bowler
Woman at table dining with friend: I mean, I love infectious diseases, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not my life.
Red Restaurant
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: kyndgrrl
Just Because Of the Short-Shorts and Rollerskates?
Curious brunette: Hey, is that casting agent friend of yours gay?
Exasperated brunette: No! That’s the guy I sleep with sometimes. Why does everyone keep asking me that?
Rosepepper Cantina
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Amy Rose
Preferably in the Drawing Room With a Candlestick
Young woman shouting to older gentleman: Why can’t Dr Molar do his own wife?
Olive Garden
Indianapolis, Indiana
Wait– What Exactly Are You Using As a Volleyball?
Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.
Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan
Overheard by: Scott
Plus, That’s Chicken
20-something guy, about his sushi: This takes me back to when I used to live in Japan.
Brunette: When did you ever live there?
20-something guy: No, I mean in my past life.
Brunette: What makes you think you were Japanese?
20-something guy: Because ever since I was little I have always loved seafood.
Brunette: … Maybe you were a fish.
20-something guy: Not cool.
Sushi restaurant
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Wallflower
So You and the Doctors Keep Saying…
Small child entering restroom: Mom, why can’t we go to the boys’ room? Because I’ve got a girl with me?
Mom: You are a girl!
Sushi Restaurant
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: zombie z
Um, What?
Tired restaurant patron: Why would Reese’s Pieces put out rhesus monkeys? That’s just wrong!
Restaurant
Ocala, Florida
Overheard by: Fully aware restaurant patron
Mr. Woods Has Nothing to Fear From Me
Loud woman in restaurant: I’m discreet! My ad says I am!
Merrifield, Virginia
Overheard by: Ihatewhores
