Archive for the ‘Rhode Island’ Category

In­vent­ed by Mis­ter New­ton.

Pro­fes­sor: So, I can see that some of you try to care about my feel­ings, and oth­ers don’t give a fig.
Stu­dent #1: Whoa! Could you not use such harsh veg­eta­bles?
(en­tire class goes silent)
Stu­dent #2: I did­n’t know a “fig” was a veg­etable.
Stu­dent #3: I thought it was a grape. A dried grape.

John­son & Wales Uni­ver­si­ty
Prov­i­dence, Rhode Is­land

You Have a Friend Named “Half­breed”?

Smok­er girl: How did you get that scrape on your arm?
Inked boy: Well, TJ picked me up in the park­ing lot the oth­er night af­ter the club, like lit­er­al­ly, picked me up and car­ried me over to Half­breed, and threw me to him, but Half­breed did­n’t know what was go­ing on and so we both fell over.
Smok­er girl: Ouch.
Inked boy: So ap­par­ent­ly, all it takes to knock him down is a hun­dred-thir­ty-five pound Ital­ian pro­jec­tile sur­prise.
Smok­er girl: Do you stay awake at night think­ing of these lit­tle quips? Or do they just come to you in mo­ments of ge­nius?
Inked boy: No, I thought of it that night. I’ve just been wait­ing to use it.

Prov­i­dence, Rhode Is­land