Teacher: Does anyone know how to spell that?
(silence)
Student: Looks like it’s time to whip out the dic!
Teacher: Some words should *not* be shortened.
High School Classroom
Rhode Island
Archive for the ‘Rhode Island’ Category
And at Least the Newport Jazz Festival Is Over in Three Days
Guy in suit: I said, “It’s better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now.”
Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Jo
Who’s Going As Pontius Pilate of Nottingham?
Bimbette, looking at halloween costumes online with her boyfriend: Oh, look! You can go as Robin Hood and I’ll be Mary Magdalene!
RIC College
Providence, Rhode Island
Invented by Mister Newton.
Professor: So, I can see that some of you try to care about my feelings, and others don’t give a fig.
Student #1: Whoa! Could you not use such harsh vegetables?
(entire class goes silent)
Student #2: I didn’t know a “fig” was a vegetable.
Student #3: I thought it was a grape. A dried grape.
Johnson & Wales University
Providence, Rhode Island
If No One Hears Them, Are They Really Dead?
Man: There are mutes dying all over the world, and they can’t say anything! So here I am…
Providence, Rhode Island
Now Aren’t You Glad We Went Through My Daughter’s Sock Drawer?
Middle-aged woman, to older woman: Those were some really good drugs!
Dunkin’ Donuts
University of Rhode Island
You Have a Friend Named “Halfbreed”?
Smoker girl: How did you get that scrape on your arm?
Inked boy: Well, TJ picked me up in the parking lot the other night after the club, like literally, picked me up and carried me over to Halfbreed, and threw me to him, but Halfbreed didn’t know what was going on and so we both fell over.
Smoker girl: Ouch.
Inked boy: So apparently, all it takes to knock him down is a hundred-thirty-five pound Italian projectile surprise.
Smoker girl: Do you stay awake at night thinking of these little quips? Or do they just come to you in moments of genius?
Inked boy: No, I thought of it that night. I’ve just been waiting to use it.
Providence, Rhode Island
Of Course, They Also Don’t Sleep with You
Lesbian: True friends don’t believe you have STDs!
Energy-Alternative club
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Christine
Rhode Island’s a Very Small State, Dear Reader
Girl, waiting for Italian professor: How can she know Italian well enough to teach it when she can’t even speak English that well?
Rhode Island
Overheard by: Doesn’t Speak Italian
I Also Feel Strangely Ashamed.
Waiter: How were the balls?
Blonde: Well, they were filling.
Cheesecake Factory
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Mallory
