Sunday school teacher: We're going to play a fun game next! Does anybody want to guess what it is?
Five-year-old student: Take of our shirts and pants?
Sunday school teacher: No!
Sunday School Classroom
Fredericton
Canadia
Overheard by: Andrew
Archive for the ‘School [Elem., Middle, & High]’ Category
Stupidest. Exercise DVD. Ever
Dude: You have ovaries of steel.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
She Doesn’t Even Recognize Our Sincere and Unyielding Love for Children
Pre-school teacher #1: Which kids do you want in your group today?
Pre-school teacher #2: Oh, I don’t really care. Just not Monica*. I cant stand her.
Pre-school teacher #1: Yeah, I know. It’s like it’s her period every friggin’ day!
Pre-school teacher #2: Yeah, she’s such a little frigid bitch!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: first day on the job
That, or a Phone.
Teacher: Who knows what the word “cell” means?
4th-grader: Oh, I do, I do! It's a tiny thing like a jelly doughnut! Except instead of jelly, there's blood!
Elementary School
Washington, DC
Gosh, I Love the Senator's Parties.
Guy #1: I think I have the handcuffs, but I'll call you if I don't.
Guy #2: Yeah, yeah, and I've got the fairy wings, for sure.
High School
Toronto, Canadia
Overheard by: Hope the where talking about drama class
His Parents Say That About Any Place That's Not Alabama
3rd grade girl, about essay: I am writing about taking a vacation to heaven!
Teacher: Okay, but why don't you pick a place you can actually go on vacation? You can't really just visit heaven.
3rd grade boy: Yes you can! I went to heaven once to visit my aunt!
Auburn, Alabama
It Was All, “What Am I, a Fucking Cow?”
Redneck girl: So do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes, that's part of our religion.
Redneck girl: No, I mean you. Do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes! I do, my people do, it's our religion!
Redneck girl: So when you go to church, there's a cow there?
Hindu boy: No, we don't go to church.
Redneck girl: Have you ever gone cow-tipping?
Hindu boy: What's that?
Redneck girl: It's when you run up to a cow in the middle of the night and push it over and it goes “mooooooooo!” I tried to tip a horse once, too, but it just looked at me.
High School
North Carolina
That Damn Third Commandment Always Trips Me Up
Good Catholic schoolboy to friend who just recited a really long prayer: Good job! You only missed one word. This one can be really hard and you almost got it perfect.
Bad Catholic schoolboy: God dammit! Jesus Christ, I'm never gonna get this bullshit memorized!
Goretti-Neumann High
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: lora
If You Don’t, Try the Cafeteria’s Amphetameatloaf
History teacher (hanging up posters with spray adhesive): If ya’ll get high from this, you’re welcome.
High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: thank you!
Baby Steps, Sweetie
Girl: I made out with a five-year-old orphan today.
Boy: Well, I guess that's a little better.
High School
Florida