Guy, crying: Ahhh! I just had sex with Stephen Hawking right up here, in my head!
Starbucks
Biloxi, Mississippi
Archive for the ‘Science’ Category
If You’d Like to Know How Sound Carries, Consult the School Nurse
Biology teacher: [badly draws a woman singing into a microphone, which looks suspiciously like a woman about to give head] If you take this, for example…
[class laughs]Biology teacher: [steps away from board and sees what class is laughing about] Uh…[erases drawing]… We’re just not going to draw today.
Connecticut
To Them, Your Aquarium Is Just a Raw Bar
Guy at computer: It’s this whole thing with the penguins, man…
Friend: Yeah, I know. It’ll work itself out, though.
Monash University
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Timothy
That Still Doesn’t Explain Yao Ming
Guy to friend: If one person is about 1.5 meters tall, two people would be three hundred meters.
http://talovich.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html#8210567357282225167
Overheard by: Yugan Dali
I Named My Cat “Velutinous.”
Teenage queer: How do you say ‘fluffy’ in science?
Random young boy: Fluffology?
Pretty woman: What?
Teenage queer: Velutinous?
Random young boy: Oh, that’s sciencey.
Aurora
Ontario
Canadia
Is That by Herbal Essences?
Bottle blonde: Oh my god, you have to tell me where you got your color done!
Natural blonde gentleman: Bitch, this comes from Adonis genes gifted from on high.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Dr. Iniego Strangelove
Perhaps Another Bong Hit Will Clarify Things
Professor: What does 95% confidence mean?
Weird kid: It means there are 95 parallel universes between the values!
Professor: Well I don’t know about that.
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Are You Pregnant?
Girlfriend: You still have Jack Daniels in my fridge! All nice and frozen. Well, it’s not frozen because alcohol has a high freezing point, but it’s been in there for months so it’s as “frozen” as it’s gonna get, well, not really because…
Stressed-out boyfriend: Woman! Too many words in that sentence!
Saint Peter’s College
New Jersey
The Kind They Blind You With
Girl #1: What’s Scientology?
Girl #2: Isn’t it like, you know, science?
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Dave
Now That Metal Rods Are the Latest Fashion Craze
Teacher: Okay, now what you do think is the chance of being killed by being struck by lightning?
Bimbette: Ummmm… probably like, one in two.
Class: (silence)
Teacher: One in two?
Bimbette: Wait! Make that one in ten.
Classroom
Sydney
Australia
