“Who Can Show­er Less?” Is a Dan­ger­ous Game

Girl #1: Awww… I knew I smelled you!
Girl #2: (laughs hys­ter­i­cal­ly)

Ben­ning­ton Col­lege
Ben­ning­ton, Ver­mont

And Don’t Get Me Start­ed on the Blood, Dawg

Pas­tor, plac­ing a piece of bread in guy’s hand: The body of Christ, giv­en to you.
Teen girl, just in earshot: The body be stale, yo.
Teen girl’s friend: I hear ya.

St. Jude’s Church
Oakville, On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Fee­briel

From the Peo­ple Who Brought You Rice Cakes…

Guy to girl with gum: Can I have a piece of gum?
Girl: Sure, but it kind of tastes like dirt.
Guy in back of class: Ooooooh! Can I please have a piece?

Mid­land­stech, South Car­oli­na

Like Hav­ing Grand­ma Sit on Your Face

Host­ess de­scrib­ing rose and black la­dy tea com­bo: Smells like rose, tastes like la­dy.

Bei­jing
Chi­na

Well, I Got a Lap Dance in the Buf­fet Line

Girl one: Smell my face. Smell right here. Does­n’t it smell great? The strip­per I got a lap dance from was wear­ing great per­fume.
Girl two: It smells like pick­les.

To­by Kei­th’s Restau­rant
Las Ve­gas, Neva­da

Over­heard by: At least it does­n’t smell like tu­na

Es­pe­cial­ly With Their Eyes Shut

Guy: If some­one was legal­ly blind, it would be re­al­ly hard for them to see in here.

Re­venge of the Mum­my ride, Uni­ver­sal Stu­dios
Or­lan­do, Flori­da

Axe Fi­nal­ly Made a Body Spray Women Like

Girl: What smells like lemon pop­py seed cup­cakes?
Guy: It might be my pe­nis.

Bay­onne, New Jer­sey

And, in Our Lab Ses­sion, We’ll Demon­strate It.

Pro­fes­sor: And to­mor­row, we’ll talk about the suck knob.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Hart­ford
Con­necti­cut

He’s a Sa­vory Sav­ior

Guy to girl in bar: What did you have, some of that Blood of Christ?
Girl: Yeah!
Guy: Yeah?!
Girl: Yeah! It’s yum­my!

Bar
Lin­coln, Ne­bras­ka

Over­heard by: Jill

Be­sides, Greed Stains.

Woman #1 in cen­tral Taipei: When she went to the us, she took along sev­er­al box­es of de­ter­gent, be­cause she does­n’t like the smell of Amer­i­can de­ter­gent.
Woman #2: Yeah, I would­n’t want to smell like an Amer­i­can ei­ther.

http://talovich.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html#6968192168432224567

Over­heard by: Yu­gan