High school student #1: My finger hurts.
High school student #2 (absent mindedly): Yeah, my ass hurts too.
Prishtina
Kosovo
Overheard by: Curly
High school student #1: My finger hurts.
High school student #2 (absent mindedly): Yeah, my ass hurts too.
Prishtina
Kosovo
Overheard by: Curly
Girl #1: I wonder if vegans get on the metro and, like, can’t sit down because the seats are leather.
Guy: No, this is pleather.
Girl #2: If it were leather it would smell like it.
Guy: No, that’s only clean leather.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Vegan sitting on the Metro
Chick #1: I hope you never snap and become a serial killer.
Chick #2 (lovingly): Because I’d kill you first!
Chick #1: I know.
Chick #2: And then I’d stuff you… I would stuff you with your clothes so you smell like yourself.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Good Advice!
[A young woman in a wetsuit and a young man in normal clothing are standing near the packaged meats.]Female employee: Can I help you with anything?
Young woman: Oh, no thanks, we’re just admiring the bacon.
Female employee: Oh. Okay! Have a nice day!
Vons
Ventura, California
Girl #1: Dude, my phone is ringing but I don’t want to pick it up…I’m too high right now.
Girl #2: Pick it up, it may be important.
Girl #1 (picking it up): Hello? (hangs up)
Girl #2: Well, who was it?
Girl #1: I don’t know, just a bunch of voices.
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: Zboots1
Tween girl #1: Oh my god… You look so orange in that picture!
Tween girl #2: Bitch.
Tween girl #1: No! It’s a good thing! Orange is the new pink!
Switzerland
40-something driver to friend: So I saw some interesting roadkill the other day…
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Another chupacabra?
Man at urinal, peeing, to no one in particular: This toilet smells like my sadness.
Bar
London
England
Overheard by: Dirty PJ
Very drunk girl, exiting party: Oh my, it’s dark outside!
Sober girl: Oh, are you gonna need help back to your dorm or anything?
Very drunk girl: Oh, no. Wine gives me night vision.
University of Kentucky
Overheard by: Emmatastic
Professor: I try to say the word “sex” at least two or three times a class to wake people up.
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Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist