The Feel of Flesh, the En­durance of Met­al

Tech en­thu­si­ast: Wait, did you say ‘cy­ber sex’?
Dude: No — cy­borg sex.
Tech en­thu­si­ast: Cy­borg sex? That’s even bet­ter!

http://weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com/2007/03/resistance-is-futile.html

Mr. Duchovny’s Voice­mail Fills Up Fast

Teenage girl on cell: David, I fucked you last night. The least you could do is give me a ride to Taco Bell.

St. Louis, Mis­souri

That Con­sists Most­ly of Pant­i­ng and Lick­ing Strangers

Drunk girl: You know, me and Jared are a lot alike. We both kind of throw our­selves out there with the same kind of des­per­a­tion, on­ly mine… is a more qui­et des­per­a­tion.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Ida­ho
Ida­ho

Over­heard by: Fun­ny­girl

I’ve Prac­ticed on My Life­sized “Sev­en of Nine” Doll

Nerdy teen #1: So you just sort of put your hands down her pants and rub up be­hind her.
Nerdy teen #2 (nod­ding): Yeah. I know what you mean.

Van­cou­ver
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: ilove­hol­i­days

…And He Let Me Touch His Mal­lard?

Girl: Hey, what about that time we went duck hunt­ing naked and…
Ran­dom passer­by: That sounds like fun!

George­town
Wash­ing­ton, DC

And the Duke Lacrosse Par­ty On­ly Got Bet­ter

Sopho­more #1: [Whispering.]Sophomore #2: Oh, dude! She is hot!
Sopho­more #1: [Inaudible.]Sophomore #2: I would so fuck her!
Sopho­more #1: [Inaudible.]Sophomore #2: Dude, I so would fuck her. Like, fuck her up the ass.

Mt. Ta­bor High School
North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: eat­ing lunch.

Now I Know How the Earth Feels

Girl: It seems like every time I see you these days, you’re be­ing raped.
Guy: I know… And now I’m not even get­ting paid for it.

Uni­ver­si­ty of North­ern Col­orado

Guy: Mind! I Said I Would­n’t Mind!

Drunk girl on cell: What? … I’m so drunk I can’t even hear… I want to do naughty things to you… So, you’re say­ing if I were to lick and suck you, you would­n’t care?

Fid­dler’s Green
Win­ter Park, Flori­da

Over­heard by: grossed out be­cause she’s not even cute

I Call It Com­par­i­son Shtup­ping

Chick: So, what did you and Kev do last night?
Soros­ti­tute: We got drunk and had sex.
Chick: You’re a walk­ing fuck­ing dis­ease.
Soros­ti­tute: What? How am I sup­posed to know what I want un­less I drunk­en­ly sleep with a bunch of peo­ple I don’t want?

Ohio State Uni­ver­si­ty
Colum­bus, Ohio

Sur­prise!

Shop­per, ex­am­in­ing fish: So, have you had any per­verts com­ing in here yet?
Shop as­sis­tant: No… Not yet.

Ed­in­burgh
Scot­land

Over­heard by: Lena