Girl #1, in stall: Have you ever had sex?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Oh. Does your classroom smell?
Delaware County Community College
Pennsylvania
Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category
I May Have Fugeed Myself
Excited hipster guy on cell: Dude, you just missed Wyclef Jean! He was fucking awesome! He dry-humped me and everything!
Voodoo Music Fest
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Eliza
The U.N. Delegates Have This Problem All the Time.
Smokin’ hot gay guy on phone: I bought the table under the impression that it was fuck-proof. My husband challenged me last night to prove otherwise. Now my table has been fucked through and Mark* isn’t talking to me right now. (pause) Yeah, it does sound like a funny problem to have, but it’s really not.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: The Sauce
All Communications Majors Believe Perception Is Reality
Sorority girl #1: I may as well go around and sleep with all the people everyone thinks I’m sleeping with…
Sorority girl #2: I would *so* not judge you for that.
Bryant University
Smithfield, Rhode Island
If We’ve Learned Nothing Else from There’s Something About Mary, It’s That.
Girl #1: It’s my hair, isn’t it?
Girl #2: Your hair is begging to be oversexed.
Wellington, New Zealand
Overheard by: Bea
So Gay Men Aren’t the Target Demograpic for That?
Straight girl: So then we were making out, and it was really good…
Gay guy #1: Wait, isn’t this story supposed to be about how good he was at going down on you?
Straight girl: Oh, I’m getting there.
Gay guy #2: Yeah, okay, but this is really taking too long. Get to the point.
Gay guy #1: Seriously. I mean, we don’t really like hearing about straight hookups anyway. It’s gross. We’re just humoring you.
Guy guy #3: This is like the longest pussy-eating story I’ve heard all day.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: TMI
By That Point, We Were Married with Three Kids.
Punk girl: So we started fucking on a regular basis, right? And then I realized that I may actually like the guy!
University Campus
Austin, Texas
…Lassie?
Young man on cell: What the fuck did I do to make you such a bitch this morning?
Boise State University
Boise, Idaho
Overheard by: Dan Lester
Shall We Try “P” for “Polanski”?
Guy #1: What aisle are we looking for?
Guy #2: We should be looking under teen girls’ rugs.
Guy #1: Yikes!
Furniture Store
New York City, New York
I’m Just a Trust, but Verify Kind Of Gal
College girl: Yeah, but I don’t fuck my kids.
Friend: Well, you don’t have any yet.
College girl, looking down: I can’t believe I just checked my vagina before I answered that.
College Campus
SoCal, California
