Woman to man: She fucked the lobster?
Cincinnati, Ohio
Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category
…While Pretending You’re Alan Rickman
Guy, clueless: Wow, I can’t believe Snape was evil the whole time!
Girl, exasperated: I can’t believe I fuck you every night.
Cinema, after Harry Potter
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Ellen
In Fact, They Probably Prefer It.
Chick in hoodie: I think they prefer to be called “little people.“
Preppy guy: When you’re hiring them for a sex act I’m pretty sure it’s okay to call them midgets.
Landmark Diner
Port Washington, New York
Overheard by: Hunter (aka
Just Plug and Play– What Could Be Easier?
Drunk girl #1, in bathroom: So I told her she just needed to remove her vagina, put on a cock and man up!
Drunk girl #2: Totally.
Bathroom, Rocket Bar
Washington, DC
According to My Logic Professor
Guy: If you can like anal, you can like feet!
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
And I’d Lose the Best Piano Teacher I’ve Ever Had
Guy #1: I woke up in her bed without any pants.
Guy #2: What happened?
Guy #1: I think we had sex.
Guy #2: You don’t know?
Guy #1: I cant exactly remember. Luckily neither can she. She’d kill me if she knew.
Train
Sydney, Australia
Acute Infection’s Not All That Cute
Drunk gay guy in pub garden, at top of voice: So I got hepatitis c when I was fisting this guy… There was blood everywhere.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
That’s the Beauty Of Singapore– You Don’t Have To.
Guy: Obviously, you’ve never been to Singapore.
Girl: Obviously, you’ve never pleased a woman.
Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: bethany
During the Sack Race
Guy: I gave her ball-phobia.
Chino, California
So Another Good Thing Is, I’m Resourceful
Friend #1: We should all say something about ourselves. One thing good and one thing bad.
Friend #2: What about you?
Friend #1: Well, I have a good sense of humor. And I guess something bad would be that the other day, I slept with some person because I didn’t have a place to stay, but in the morning, I’d forgotten his name…so when he went out his room I had to search through it to find some kind of identity card of his so I could pretend I knew it all along. His name was Richard.
Pub
London Bridge
England
