Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

Just As Long As It's Hot, Steamy Coffee, Okay?

20-something girl, skipping over to expensive jewelery shop window: Ooooh! Sparkly things!
20-something guy: Fuck.
20-something girl, eyes shining with delight: Oh… Look at the rings… They're beautiful! (sighs)
20-something guy: No.
20-something girl: Look at that one! It's cheap!
20-something guy: It's £450!
20-something girl: You just got paid! Oh, look! That one's even prettier and sparklier!
20-something guy: Granted… But there's also no price tag… So it's probably gonna be £1,000 at least.
20-something girl, resignedly: Yeah. (perks up) But you're my friend… (pleading voice) Buy me a ring… Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssse!
20-something guy: Look, for a £1,000 ring I'm going to expect at least a couple of shags.
20-something girl: True. Oh, well. Let's go get coffee. (skips off)

Burlington Arcade
London
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Like a University Professor Ever Has to Pay for It

Statistics professor: So let's say we ask a random question, such as “have you had unprotected sex with a prostitute in the last week?”.
(class laughs)
Statistics professor: Most people would answer “no.” Including myself. I'll leave it up to you to decide if that's the truth or not.

University of Guelph
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Danielle

Let’s Just Say I Felt the Earth Move

Queer #1: I bruised my pelvis once during sex. It was the last time I had sex with a woman. Remember?
Queer #2: Right.
Queer #3: I don’t know this story.
Queer #1: Well, to be more exact, I woke up to having sex with a woman. Or, rather, I regained consciousness to discover a woman fucking me. That was the same day as the bulldozer.
Queer #2: You don’t have to say anything else for this to be a perfect story.
Queer #3: Wait… A bulldozer?

Wine bar
Baltimore, Maryland

Especially with Your Hand on My Boob.

Drunk brunette: I'm so ready! I wanna fuck! I mean, you and Ryan* fuck! All the time! I know you do!
Sober blonde: Please don't ever say that again.
Drunk brunette: Fine, prude! You and Ryan* make loooove all the time, right?!
Sober blonde: Could you please just say “have sex”? This is so weird.

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: i*agree