Math teacher: If you fuck with numbers, you're fucking with god! And people get killed for that shit! University of Miami, Florida Overheard by: Tormented Math Student
Lab TA, chatting during break: So I live alone, and I have a lot of trouble opening bottles. Have you guys ever heard of the plastic husband?
(entire class laughs)
Lab TA: No! I didn't mean it like that! I just meant I need help opening things up!
(class laughs again) University of Pittsburgh
Professor at anatomy lecture to student touching her own throat: Ivanova, what are you gonna be touching when I'm lecturing on the sex organs? http://anekdot.mail.ru/inner.html?rubric_id=2
Girl #1: You're too horny for your own good. Why don't you just get a dildo?
Girl #2: Why would I want a dildo when I can just get the real thing whenever I want? Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia Overheard by: Hank
Guy on Bluetooth: They took the two most aggressive animals and bred them together. What did they think was going to happen?
Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania Overheard by: Tom
Woman: I've only been to Turkey once, to visit my boyfriend.
Turkish woman: That's far. He must be very good in bed.
Woman: We're not together anymore. I'll leave it at that. Eastern Market
Washington, DC Overheard by: Intern
Guy, telling girl how to inspect screws in a table: Reach up, right up in there…
Girl: Right here?
Guy: Yeah, can you feel it?
Guy: Okay, now can you play around with it with your finger?
Guy, after long pause: You know, if anyone overheard this conversation, it would sound pretty bad. Security Park
Baltimore, Maryland Overheard by: Cool Breeze
Ten-year-old: Mom, what's “shagging”?
Mom: Um… It's like shedding. You know, like how the cat sheds hair on the couch?
Four-year-old: No, it's not. It's when two people have sex. Jeez! Clarksville, Indiana
Girl #1: I'd totally tap your grandpa!
Girl #2: Thanks?
Girl #1: You're welcome! Denver, Colorado
Guy on phone: So what are we doing after bible study? Beers? Ladies? Arizona State University Overheard by: Tiffany