Ten-year-old boy to another: Yeah, I told my sister that if she kept it up, she'd end up in Mexico with her panties off.
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: i want to meet the sister
Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category
Almost As If Drinking Affected My Judgment in Some Way
Guy #1: I once tried to hit on a chick while I was drunk and throwing up, but now that's just a fun story I tell and nobody lost their respect for me.
Guy #2: Except for the girl you were hitting on.
Guy #1: Well, I don't know. Her nickname was “dicktooth.”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
You Can Be My Dirty Fling
Five-year-old boy: Daddy?
Father: Yes?
Five-year-old boy: When I grow up, I want to marry you.
Father: Uhm, you can't do that. What about your friend, Alex?
Five-year-old boy: Hmmm. Okay. I think I'll marry Alex instead.
Reynoldsburg, Ohio
Overheard by: Timothy
I Have Them Washed and Brought to My Tent
Girl, joking: I love when girls are walking around drunk with eye makeup smeared around their faces.
Guy: Yeah, those are the ones I try to take home.
Girl: What?
Guy: Do you really think I go around looking for girls with good personalities?
Iowa City, Iowa
What?
Father to son, on golf course: Yeah, while you were away I though about hiring someone to rape me.
Son: What?
Father: It's supposed to really improve your golf swing!
Eagle, Colorado
Michael Jackson: At Least I’m Consistent!
Woman talking on phone to friend: I have a real thing for little boys. I never used to…
Train Leaving Brighton
England
Overheard by: Wishing she hadn’t tuned in at that point
Now Tom Cruise Has It
White-haired 60-something lady on cell: I can't live there anymore. (pause) No, it's not that. She's trying to force her Scientology on me. (pause) Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, she's not a lesbian anymore. She joined Scientology to change her from being lesbian. (pause) They made her lesbian side go away.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Drag Queens Are Treated Like Livestock in Canadia
Four-year-old boy, dancing happily down sidewalk: I'm like a princess! I'm like Cinderella!
Mother: Except you stink. So more like stinkerella.
Calgary
Canadia
Asian Gangs Confound All Our Expectations
Girl: I hate violinists!
Boy: What?
Girl: Violinists.
Boy: Oh. I thought you said “gang-bangers.”
BART Airport Train
San Francisco, California
I've Got a Case for Her
Guy to friend looking at beer: Yeah, I better get some if she's coming over. She's the only girl I've ever been with that can drink more than me. Which is kinda scary… and kinda hot.
New Castle, Indiana