Archive for the ‘Shoes’ Category

For­mer Kinder­garten Teach­ers Make Quite Ef­fi­cient Ho­bos

Hobo #1, hold­ing sneak­er, to an­oth­er: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don’t want to sweat in the shoe. That’ll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you wor­ried about? Your feet al­ready stink. I can smell them from here. Those peo­ple can smell them from here. Now put on your god­damn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I’m go­ing to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of every­one on this train.
(oth­ers on train ap­plaud)

MAR­TA Train
At­lanta, Geor­gia

Over­heard by: Fi­nal­ly, a hu­man­i­tar­i­an home­less man

And I Felt Re­al­ly Bad When the Shoe and I Ran Off to Can­cun With­out Her

Guy: Did­n’t you have a friend who lost her vir­gin­i­ty to her shoe?
Green haired girl: Yeah. She fell on her foot and rup­tured it or some­thing. Like rid­ing a horse.
Pink haired girl: What the fuck?
Guy: Told you!
Green haired girl: I felt bad when she told us be­cause I was the on­ly one bust­ing up laugh­ing.