Son: Mom, can we get something?
Mom: No.
Son: Can we get some Life Savers?
Mom: No.
(son walks over with five Hershey bars)
Son: These?
Mother: No. And if I bought them, I’d eat them all in front of you.
Rocky River, Ohio
Overheard by: Beanah
Archive for the ‘Shopping’ Category
It’s Not Gay If It’s About Video Games
10-year-old boy to GameStop guy, after purchasing Mario Galaxy: Bye, I love you! I mean…wait. I meant “thank you.” I didn’t mean it! (runs away)
GameStop
Vestavia Hills, Alabama
Overheard by: that’s what they all say
West Side Story: The Lost Dialogue.
Woman: Jorge, I wanna go to Kmart!
Man: Yeah, and I want chop suey. We all have our dreams, Maria.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Kate
If You Require Further Explanation, You Definitely Need to Attend.
Hot chick: I’m having a fantasia party; I made it a facebook event: Are you going to come?
Clueless girl: Whats a fantasia party?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks only, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clueless girl: I don’t get it?
Hot chick: What’s there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clueless girl: I still don’t get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tupperware party ‑only with dildos!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Make Mine 9 Inches!
Now Finish Your Pop Rocks and Soda, and Let’s Go Home
12-year-old girl to younger sibling: Every time you buy a Barbie they give money to the abortion place to give someone like a scholarship for an abortion. Every time you touch a barbie, it’s like touching an abortion.
Toy Store
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: i now want to touch a barbie
Time to Start Talking About Gay Rights in More PC Terms
Voice over intercom: So, come out and buy some juice and support a good cause.
Girl #1: Um, what good cause?
Girl #2: I dunno. Fruit?
High School
Calgary
Canadia
Plus, I’m Pretty
Bawling small girl in grocery store, after not getting what she asked: But, mom, I’m crying really hard!
Ingersoll Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa
Um, This Is Applebee’s.
Intercom: The store will be closing in 15 minutes. Please bring your purchases to the front of the store to the check-out line. We hope you enjoyed your shopping experience. Thank you for shopping at K‑Mart… Shit, I mean “Wal-Mart.”
Wal-Mart
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Caitlin
I Don’t Like Feeling Exotic
Little girl to mother: I always get weirded out when we come to Asian markets.
Mom: Why is that?
Little girl: Because there are so many Asian people in one place!
Mom: Why is that weird?
Uwajimaya
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Koley
…So I’m Afraid I’ll Have to Decline Your Offer.
Macy’s sales clerk: Now this cologne is $19.99 for the large bottle and comes with the free teddy bear.
Large woman spilling out of leopard-print tube top, sniffing: This is nice… It’s real classy smelling.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: I don’t discriminate; I hate everybody.
