Little girl trying on boots: Mom, can I get them?
Mom: Yes, but you have to take them off.
Little girl: Will you help me?
Mom: No, if you don’t know how to take your own shoes off by now, I’ve done something very wrong.
Little girl, in low voice, taking boots off: …you have.
Target
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
Little boy running from price scanner: Mom, my hand’s not for sale!
Target, 2255 14th Avenue SE
Albany, Oregon
Overheard by: Miranda
Grocery store bagger (handing stuffed cat to little girl): So, what are you going to name your new kitty?
Little girl: Baby Jesus!
California
Little girl to mother: I always get weirded out when we come to Asian markets.
Mom: Why is that?
Little girl: Because there are so many Asian people in one place!
Mom: Why is that weird?
Uwajimaya
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Koley
Smokin’ hot gay guy on phone: I bought the table under the impression that it was fuck-proof. My husband challenged me last night to prove otherwise. Now my table has been fucked through and Mark* isn’t talking to me right now. (pause) Yeah, it does sound like a funny problem to have, but it’s really not.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: The Sauce
Haggard drunk woman to group of drunk men: He says he loves me but won’t even buy me a cupcake!
Boston, Massachusetts
Drugstore cashier to another: Are the firemen here to shop? Or is someone down again?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: jamjam
Guy #1: What aisle are we looking for?
Guy #2: We should be looking under teen girls’ rugs.
Guy #1: Yikes!
Furniture Store
New York City, New York
Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady: What?
Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady oh, I thought you said something about “the last of the Apaches.“
Customer: That film was called The Last of the Mohicans.
Shop lady: What film?
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: somedaftlassie
Little boy, desperately: I need to get out of here!
Kohl’s Fitting Rooms
Georgia
Overheard by: Iris
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
