Five-year-old girl (pointing at penis on sculpture in museum): Daddy, what’s that?
Daddy: What do you think it is?
Girl’s little sister: It’s a butt!
Five-year-old girl (pause, whispers in amazement): It’s a penis.
Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: loves smart kids
Group of little girls to window poster: Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!
Exasperated father: Don’t kiss that!
Mall
San Diego, California
Eight-year-old: You should never say ‘Oh my G‑O-D.’ That’s bad.
20-ish brother: Oh my god!
Eight-year-old: You can’t say that! That’s bad!
20-ish brother: Okay. Jesus fucking Christ!
Connecticut
Sister: Grandma got him a box of latexes!
Dad: Oh, well, I didn’t know you and grandma were so…ahem…close.
Brother: Oh! God! No! Stop! My ears!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!
Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon
Six-year-old girl: Dad, I want to see snow!
Six-year-old girl’s twin: Me toooo!
Dad: But girls, it doesn’t snow down here–you have to go up north for that.
Six-year-old girl: Then let’s go up north!
Six-year-old girl’s twin: To the North Pole!
Dad: Yeah! But you know what, mom won’t let us.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Girl (about her college): The on-campus security is really good too, the campus police will get to you in like, 30 seconds. I’m still thinking about getting mace or something.
Girl’s younger brother: No one wants to rape you.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Quazarfreez
Four-year-old girl: I like sex! I like sex! I like sex!
Six-year-old sister: You don’t even know what sex is!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do!
Six-year-old sister: No, you don’t!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do! It’s prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it’s not.
Four-year-old girl: Sex is prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it’s not! Sex is when mum and dad go into the bedroom and go like this…
Clayton
Australia
Sister: I fucking hate her.
Brother: Why? Because she’s getting more action than you or because she’s corrupting our youth?
Denver, Colorado
Girl to sister: Go away and come back when I can love you again.
Ruby Tuesday
Hagerstown, Maryland
Overheard by: Eavesdropping customer
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
