Archive for the ‘Smoking’ Category

Chances Are Good We’ll Get to Den­ver or Some­where Near It

Stressed flight at­ten­dant, af­ter four-hour de­lay: Folks, we’ve just been cleared for im­me­di­ate de­par­ture. (pas­sen­gers cheer) All pas­sen­gers must be seat­ed, with your seat belts fas­tened for take­off. To do so, in­sert the metal–well, if you can’t fig­ure it out for your­self, you’re in trou­ble. If at any point an oxy­gen mask ap­pears in front of you, you’ll want to put that on. In the event of a wa­ter land­ing oc­cur­ring be­tween St. Louis and Den­ver, there will be a flota­tion de­vice un­der your seat and about three feet of snow in hell. Emer­gency exits–front, over-wing and rear–wherever it says so. Don’t even think about smok­ing. See the safe­ty in­for­ma­tion card for the rest. Here we go.

St. Louis Air­port, Mis­souri