Jackie O. lookalike: If I can’t sneak cigarettes into my house, what makes you think I can get an ax?
Starfest Sci-fi Convention
Denver, Colorado
Archive for the ‘Smoking’ Category
You Wanna Do That, the Army’s Recruiting Right Down the Block
Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you’re in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don’t kill nobody!
Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada
Overheard by: Philly Joe
Breathing Is So ’90s
Hipster: I want to start spitting, so I’ve decided to take up smoking.
Canadia
And Let’s Get Some Chewing Tobacco to Spit
Girl, to two guys smoking in a bar: Oh my gosh! Smoking? Gross! (walks away, disgusted)
Guy #1: You wanna follow her and smoke?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, I do.
Denver, Colorado
Okay, You Don’t Have to Show Me.
Grandson, watching grandmother hold cigar as if it was a joint: If grandma takes off her bra and burns it, I’m gonna freak out.
Grandma: Oh, Simon! I’m not wearing one.
Spencer, Iowa
And They’re Less Of a Drag
Hobo walking out of convenience store, tapping a pack of cigarettes to his hobo lady: I don’t need you anymore. I got cigarettes.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Matt
Oh, Right: “I’m a Smoker Now.”
Guy #1: Dude, how do you blow smoke rings!
Guy #2 jokingly: It is the same as sucking dick.
Guy #1: Oh, okay! (blows smoke rings effortlessly)
Guy #2: Do you need to tell me something, man?
Hookah Bar
Colorado Springs, Colorado
But It Makes a Cool Gurgling Sound
10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, if you smoke it that way you can still get cancer. But if you smoke it through a water bong… yeah, about the same.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Lauren
None Of Them Are Filtered
Teen gangsta wannabe yelling to small boy on playground: No, I wasn’t, I don’t smoke! He was just transferring the smoke to my mouth! (pause) Never mind! I’m not gay!
Park
Cincinnati, Ohio
Burned My Eyebrows Off More Than Once
Girl #1: It’s like those candy cigarettes you used to get at Halloween. It teaches kids bad principles.
Girl #2: Those taste like crap anyway.
Guy: Yeah, and they never catch.
Boone, North Carolina
