Hobo walking out of convenience store, tapping a pack of cigarettes to his hobo lady: I don’t need you anymore. I got cigarettes.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Matt
Archive for the ‘Smoking’ Category
You Wanna Do That, the Army’s Recruiting Right Down the Block
Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you’re in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don’t kill nobody!
Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada
Overheard by: Philly Joe
Oh, Right: “I’m a Smoker Now.”
Guy #1: Dude, how do you blow smoke rings!
Guy #2 jokingly: It is the same as sucking dick.
Guy #1: Oh, okay! (blows smoke rings effortlessly)
Guy #2: Do you need to tell me something, man?
Hookah Bar
Colorado Springs, Colorado
But It Makes a Cool Gurgling Sound
10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, if you smoke it that way you can still get cancer. But if you smoke it through a water bong… yeah, about the same.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Lauren
None Of Them Are Filtered
Teen gangsta wannabe yelling to small boy on playground: No, I wasn’t, I don’t smoke! He was just transferring the smoke to my mouth! (pause) Never mind! I’m not gay!
Park
Cincinnati, Ohio
Burned My Eyebrows Off More Than Once
Girl #1: It’s like those candy cigarettes you used to get at Halloween. It teaches kids bad principles.
Girl #2: Those taste like crap anyway.
Guy: Yeah, and they never catch.
Boone, North Carolina
Not Until We Get a Few Things Straight in the Will
Old lady hooked up to portable oxygen machine: I need a cigarette!
Grandkids: Grandma, nooo!
Restaurant
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: martha
How the Woodland Park Zoo Became a Disco Inferno
Trashy mom trying to get toddler to leave an animal exhibit: Get over here or I’ll whop your butt!
(five seconds later) And give me back my lighter!
Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Jenster
Second-Hand Smoke Is Better Than I Remembered
Man: Can I bum a cigarette?
Beatnik girl: No, I need them all. The smoke fertilizes my brain, and I must get pregnant with ideas [blows smoke in his face].
São Paulo
Brazil
… Who’s Due in June
Woman: I gotta smoke as much as I can before May 30th, ’cause after that it’s bad for the baby.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/05/shes_bad_for_the_baby.html
