Archive for the ‘Smoking’ Category

But, Odd­ly Enough, Nine Months Lat­er Sean Pre­ston Was Born

Young pro­fes­sion­al woman: So, my hus­band and I de­cid­ed we were ready to have a ba­by, but when I got preg­nant I sort of freaked out and thought I was­n’t ready. So I went out with my girl­friends, ate a bunch of sushi, smoked a pack of cig­a­rettes and drank a fifth of tequi­la. Sure enough, the next day, I got my pe­ri­od. That shit re­al­ly is bad for the preg­nan­cy.

Flight over At­lanta, Geor­gia

Oh Hon­ey, I Would Put Your Marl­boro Out With My Tongue

Ob­vi­ous­ly-not-18-year-old girl, hand­ing man mon­ey: Go get me a pack of Camels num­ber nine, please.
20-some­thing man: Are you se­ri­ous? They’re go­ing to think I’m fruity. (walks in­to store, im­me­di­ate­ly walks back out) I can’t buy them. That girl is work­ing.
Ob­vi­ous­ly-not-18-year-old girl: I’m sor­ry, would you like me to buy Marl­boro Reds? That’s a man­li­er cig­a­rette.
20-some­thing man: That’d be great. (goes back in and re­turns with Marl­boro Reds): Sor­ry about that. Uh, if I don’t get my type of cig­a­rettes then I think they’d get sus­pi­cious.
Ob­vi­ous­ly-not-18-year-old girl: You don’t even smoke.

Akron, Ohio