Frat boy: Hypothetically speaking, if you were on your period, would you invite a guy to go home with you? Like, if it was your third day and you weren’t having a very heavy flow?
Sorority girl: Justin, this doesn’t sound very hypothetical.
University of Iowa Library
Iowa City, Iowa
Girl #1: Do you think anyone’s like… Actually a good person?
[long pause]Girl #2: Ugh, my stomach really hurts today.
Drew University
Madison, New Jersey
Sorority chick, discussing Shroud of Turin: Jesus was 14 feet tall?
Philosophy of Religion Class, Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
College sorostitute: Well, I thought we’d been dating for, like, 3 months. But then I looked at his Facebook profile, and it said “single.“
Non-slutty college friend: You had to use Facebook to…
College sorostitute: Also, did you know he had a kid?
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Nuddles
University girl: So tonight — no tequila, and we wear underwear.
Waterloo
Canadia
Overheard by: Regretting the bottle of tequila in my backpack
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: So, this is totally random, but if a gay black man has anal sex, do you think he can see if he has shit on his dick when he’s done?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Uh…
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: How sick would that be? I mean, they’re black. Well, actually, they’re brown. And shit is brown, you know? So how can they tell?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: I would hope they’d notice.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Think about it! Walking around with shit on your dick? Nasty.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Maybe that’s why some black people smell bad.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Oh my god! You’re so right. Ew! If I were a gay man, I’d never take it up the ass from a black guy.
530 Church Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Caryn
College girl: There, I’ve belittled and insulted The View without using the word “bitch” or the c‑word.
Student Center, Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: …and that itself is a feat
College girl: I really want to go as Superman!
Friend: You aren’t going to stuff your crotch, are you?
Melbourne University
Australia
Bleached blonde sorority chick: If she doesn’t abort it, we’re totally throwing her a baby shower!
University
Midwest
Overheard by: GDI
Drunk sorority girl: I swear, I’m not gay! I just crush a lot.
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
