Overheard Everywhere

Archive for the ‘Sorority types’ Category

Some­thing Tells Me That Was­n’t Ac­tu­al­ly Ran­dom

Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #1: So, this is to­tal­ly ran­dom, but if a gay black man has anal sex, do you think he can see if he has shit on his dick when he’s done?
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #2: Uh…
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #1: How sick would that be? I mean, they’re black. Well, ac­tu­al­ly, they’re brown. And shit is brown, you know? So how can they tell?
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #2: I would hope they’d no­tice.
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #1: Think about it! Walk­ing around with shit on your dick? Nasty.
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #2: Maybe that’s why some black peo­ple smell bad.
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #1: Oh my god! You’re so right. Ew! If I were a gay man, I’d nev­er take it up the ass from a black guy.

530 Church Street
Ann Ar­bor, Michi­gan

Over­heard by: Caryn

I Call It Com­par­i­son Shtup­ping

Chick: So, what did you and Kev do last night?
Soros­ti­tute: We got drunk and had sex.
Chick: You’re a walk­ing fuck­ing dis­ease.
Soros­ti­tute: What? How am I sup­posed to know what I want un­less I drunk­en­ly sleep with a bunch of peo­ple I don’t want?

Ohio State Uni­ver­si­ty
Colum­bus, Ohio

Leave It to the Ivy Lea­guers to Re­al­ly Get to the Crux of an Is­sue

Frat boy: That’s all I want, a girl from, like, some poor vil­lage in south­ern Italy, does­n’t speak a fuckin’ *word* of Eng­lish, and I can bring her home, and she can lie in my bed all day, and fuck me, and make me gnoc­ci.
Plain blonde girl: Do you re­al­ly like gnoc­ci?

Yale Berke­ley Col­lege Din­ing Hall
Cam­bridge, Mass­a­chu­setts